How to Stop Arguing in a Marriage Relationship
Many couples are tired of fighting with one another and they want to know how to stop arguing in their relationship. Below, I have listed the planks of the safety fence that we encourage couples to stay in when discussing difficult issues.
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Resolving conflict in marriage can be a difficult task. But, it should be noted that all conflict is not bad. If handled properly, conflict can move couples to a greater level of closeness and intimacy.
The Tricky Part of Marriage
The tricky part of marriage is having the wisdom to act enough like adults so that both feel safe enough to act like little children together playing on what I call a playground of vulnerability.
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According to the scriptures, it is impossible for two people to grow closer to Christ and not to one another. Here is a chapter and verse from the scriptures to confirm this principle:
“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light,
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I have had the pleasure of meeting a few couples that have been married for over sixty years. One such couple was in my last pastorate. Their names were Walt and Alice.
Many Sundays, you could hear Alice calling for her husband across the auditorium by saying,
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As a marriage coach, I have found that some couples are able to excel after only a few sessions. On the other hand, there are others that never seem to quite get it right. Though there are a number of factors as to why marriage counseling does not work for some,
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Paul, in I Corinthians 13:5, says something very remarkable about charity or true love. Under Divine Influence, Paul said:
“[Charity] Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;”
I often use I Corinthians 13:5 when advising couples in that it shows us that true love is not about our personal bent,
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Some marriages are at a stalemate in that both are waiting for the other to make the first move. In these scenarious both are often feeling neglected and they often accuse the other of not meeting their needs. If your marriage is in such a state, you will find it necessary to step outside of yourself and into the intersts of the other.
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Properly loving your spouse will require you to do that which is not only illogical, but also least natural for you as a person. If you are newly married or in a premarital relationship, you may be hesitant to receive this saying. If you have been married for quite some time,
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Dr. Raymond Force, Christian Radio Talk Show Guest on Marriage
I have appeared on a number of broadcasts over the years as a Christian radio talk show guest on marriage. However, just recently, I was happy to appear on Dr. Jerry Kennedy’s podcast.
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Learning How to Work on Marriage is Something that Must be Learned
Contrary to popular opinion, love does not come natural to humans (Romans 3:17). Now, hormones, romance, and a desire for the opposite sex do, but understanding how to truly love those around us and knowing how to work on marriage is a trait that must be learned.
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Want to learn what makes a marriage work? Rather than simply researching books on marriage and doing online research, you may want to study the lives of those that have been married for a long time.
In one church where I served as a leader,
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Are You Living with a Difficult Husband?
Men can be very stubborn. I should know, I am one. Nevertheless, if you are living with a difficult husband, you may find it slightly comforting to know that men are sometimes very good at training their wives to have to use anger to get their attention.
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Struggling with learning how to be content in your marriage? Typically, thankfulness is a key ingredient for husbands and wives in such a case.
Though this article is directed at women, I feel both men and women will be able to learn valuable lessons from its content.
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Feel Taken for Granted by Your Husband or Your Wife?
At the heart of many fights between husbands and wives is the simple fact that many spouses feel taken for granted. As a pastoral care counselor and a Christian life coach, I have found that a simple attitude of gratitude can go a long way between couples to alleviate many a fight.
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Avoiding Arguments in a Marriage
There is a better way to go about avoiding arguments in a marriage. Rather than just working hard to hold your tongue, there is actually a way to replace those feelings of anger and frustration with a spirit of thankfulness for the other person.
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Struggling with moving beyond those emotionally-charged conversations with your spouse? Here’s a little sage advice from Dr. Raymond Force, author of How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting With One Another.
The Emotional Mud Pit
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Not Attracted Anymore
A vast amount of couples wonder why they were once drawn to one another, yet now they feel they are not attracted to each other. Did you know that although opposites attract, they eventually start to repel from one another?
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As a pastor and a Christian life coach, I have spent many hours teaching people on the importance of forgiveness in marriage and relationships. Without it, no marriage or pre marriage relationship can survive as we are all very flawed individuals in need of mercy from God and those around us.
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If you are having marriage issues, I have found it to be vital to, first of all, understand what love truly is and what it is not. If you have confined love to romantic feelings or feeling giddy about one another, you will find that your relationship will be on a perpetual roller coaster ride.
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Christian-based, yet Simple Marriage Advice
Couples having marriage issues are often overwhelmed by the amount of advice available to them from counselors, therapists, books on marriage, and well meaning friends and family members. At times, it is more than they can handle. At Hitting Home,
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If marriage is so wonderful, why are there so many with marriage problems? At Hitting Home, we like to simplify problems down to the least common denominator. Here is a very simple explanation as to why couples struggle.
The Fundamental Problem
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How does divorce in one generation affect the next. Some points to consider:
When Dad and Mom Divorce, It Makes it Easier for the Next Generation to Follow Suit
Abraham struggled with deception on two separate occasions. Isaac, just a few chapters later,
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Opposites attract in a marital relationship for a variety of reasons. Many view the differences between a man and a woman as a negative. I am a firm believer that the differences between a man and a woman are for our benefit.
Does God Have a Sense of Humor?…
At one marriage conference that I conducted, a lady spoke up in the back and said something to the effect of, “Doesn’t all of this just get back to the golden rule.” I really could not have said it better myself. In fact, I often say that if you take everything that I say about marriage,
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I Don’t Feel Love Anymore for My Husband / Wife
“I just don’t feel love anymore for my spouse.”
“I don’t have love in my heart toward my spouse.”
“I don’t think there is any more love between my spouse and myself.”
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Forgiveness in marriage can be a difficult subject as forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood words in our language today. Though forgiveness does not come natural to us, it is, nonetheless an all important subject if you are going to progress in your marriage relationship.
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Without a doubt, if a couple is going to stay together after an affair, they are going to take a trip down a very bumpy road. This is because adultery is the most grievous sin that one can commit against a marriage, and, unfortunately, the only group of people that truly understand its devastating effects are those on the receiving end.
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In our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting With One Another, I walk couples through a 2-step process to solving their marriage issues. The first step for men is to start treating their wives as they would a world class business client regardless of how they feel and what they perceive they are getting out of the relationship.
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If you are a woman that is fighting for your marriage, you will do well to utilize what I call Biblical swords. In our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage without Fighting with One Another, I encourage ladies to lay down the sword of negativity and use the sword of faith along with other forms of Biblical weaponry.
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There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Overcome with a Fear of Losing Your Husband or Your Wife?
If you have a fear of losing your husband or your wife, there are usually three to four classic mistakes that you will be prone to make. One of those mistakes is to desperately pursue the other person.
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Are you living with a spouse that is working overtime to win you over? Finding it difficult to process all the changes and accept this new normal around the home? If so, you probably feel slightly overwhelmed in that as you hide out in an emotional break room requesting space,
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We hope you enjoy this excerpt from chapter 5 of our new Christian marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another. It not only shows couples how to rebuild trust in a marriage,
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If you are looking for answers on how to win your husband back (or your wife), we are offering Christian-based help. Mark it down, however, a spirit of desperation will do little to help you to win your spouse back. Here is some Christian-based advice on this subject.
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Most couples fight for their marriage in a way that hurts their relationship instead of helping it. I admit, their motives are usually honorable, but it is their methods that are less than effective.
Moses had a great motive when he came to the aid of the Hebrew slave in Exodus 2:11-12.
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If you are feeling discouraged in your marriage, you may need to tweak your expectations. You are about to read one of the most important bits of counseling advice that Dr. Force shares with couples in need.
Results-Driven versus Right-Driven
Husbands and wives trying to resolve their issues have a way of setting themselves up for feelings of discouragement in marriage.
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Feeling like Your Husband Acts Like a Child?
Do you feel as if your wife or your husband acts like a child? Dr. Force is a firm believer that a vast amount of people become emotionally stuck around the age of eleven or twelve.
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Communication in marriage is unbelievably important. In fact, what most couples should be communicating in the context of adultlike conversation, they are often relating in the context of a childlike spat. Many couples assume rather than ask. They suppress until they have to express, and, when they finally get around to venting their feelings,
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Contrary to popular opinion, nice guys (and gals) do not finish last. In fact, the scriptures teach the exact opposite. Proverbs 25:15 says:
“By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone.”
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If married couples want the blessings of God, they should also be careful to walk in a way that is pleasing to Him. The Bible is clear that if couples desire His blessings, they should also be sure to understand the importance of obedience to God in marriage.
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Imagine attending a wedding in which the groom and the bride exchanged wedding vows like this:
“I will love, honor, and cherish you when I feel like it.”
Could you imagine the confused looks on the faces of the attendees?
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Husbands and wives can be absolutely right, yet incredibly wrong in how they convey that rightness. Take a look at this excerpt from chapter 4 of our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another.
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When trying to solve marriage problems, it is vital that each participant use Biblical tactics. One of the first steps that we walk women through is to lay down the sword of negativity and take hold of Biblical swords. One of those swords is the sword of thankfulness.
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Yep. This is exactly why most couples get absolutely nowhere when they fight. Take a look at this excerpt from our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting With One Another, by Dr. Raymond Force. And, yes, we certainly understand that the roles are often flipped.
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Here is an excerpt from our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage without Fighting with One Another, that gives wives some instruction as well as encouragement on how to better fight for their marriage in a way that is not only Biblical,
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What is a person to do if they want the marriage, but their spouse wants to call the marriage quits? How should a husband or a wife respond when they just cannot seem to get the other person to show the love that they desire to have?
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For men, romance starts in the eyes and then has a way of moving to the rest of the body. For women, things are a little different as romance starts in the mind, and, after that, she can make her eyes work from there.
Even at an early age,
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Upon first meeting their wives, men are superb about treating them like the Queen of Sheba. At this juncture, women feel they are in their rightful place as they have a sense of feeling valued, protected, and secure about the relationship. Be that as it may, through time and circumstance,
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Are you a Frustrated Spouse? Struggling with Feelings of Frustration as a Husband or Wife?
Constantly feel like a frustrated spouse? Are you a husband or wife that consistently struggles with feelings of anger and frustration toward your mate? Here is some Christian marriage counseling advice from Dr.
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