Blog Archives

How to Stop Arguing, Fighting

 

How to Stop Arguing in a Marriage Relationship

 

Many couples are tired of fighting with one another and they want to know how to stop arguing in their relationship. Below, I have listed the planks of the safety fence that we encourage couples to stay in when discussing difficult issues.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Using Conflict For The Good Of The Marriage

 

Resolving conflict in marriage can be a difficult task. But, it should be noted that all conflict is not bad. If handled properly, conflict can move couples to a greater level of closeness and intimacy.

 

The Tricky Part of Marriage

 

The tricky part of marriage is having the wisdom to act enough like adults so that both feel safe enough to act like little children together playing on what I call a playground of vulnerability.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The I John 1:7 Principle

 

According to the scriptures, it is impossible for two people to grow closer to Christ and not to one another. Here is a chapter and verse from the scriptures to confirm this principle:

 

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


My Definition of a Great Marriage

 

I have had the pleasure of meeting a few couples that have been married for over sixty years. One such couple was in my last pastorate. Their names were Walt and Alice.

Many Sundays, you could hear Alice calling for her husband across the auditorium by saying,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Why Marriage Counseling Fails for Some

 

As a marriage coach, I have found that some couples are able to excel after only a few sessions. On the other hand, there are others that never seem to quite get it right. Though there are a number of factors as to why marriage counseling does not work for some,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


What is True Love?

 

Paul, in I Corinthians 13:5, says something very remarkable about charity or true love. Under Divine Influence, Paul said:

 

“[Charity] Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;”

 

I often use I Corinthians 13:5 when advising couples in that it shows us that true love is not about our personal bent,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


My Husband’s Love Affair With Sports

 

Some marriages are at a stalemate in that both are waiting for the other to make the first move. In these scenarious both are often feeling neglected and they often accuse the other of not meeting their needs. If your marriage is in such a state, you will find it necessary to step outside of yourself and into the intersts of the other.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How Manure Saved My Marriage

 

Properly loving your spouse will require you to do that which is not only illogical, but also least natural for you as a person. If you are newly married or in a premarital relationship, you may be hesitant to receive this saying. If you have been married for quite some time,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Christian Radio Talk Show Guest on Marriage

 

Dr. Raymond Force, Christian Radio Talk Show Guest on Marriage

 

I have appeared on a number of broadcasts over the years as a Christian radio talk show guest on marriage. However, just recently, I was happy to appear on Dr. Jerry Kennedy’s podcast.

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Posted in Dr. Raymond Force's Musings


How to Work on Marriage, Relationship

 

Learning How to Work on Marriage is Something that Must be Learned

 

Contrary to popular opinion, love does not come natural to humans (Romans 3:17). Now, hormones, romance, and a desire for the opposite sex do, but understanding how to truly love those around us and knowing how to work on marriage is a trait that must be learned.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How To Grow Old Together

 

Want to learn what makes a marriage work?  Rather than simply researching books on marriage and doing online research, you may want to study the lives of those that have been married for a long time.

In one church where I served as a leader,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Living with a Difficult Husband, Zoning Out

 

Are You Living with a Difficult Husband?

 

Men can be very stubborn. I should know, I am one. Nevertheless, if you are living with a difficult husband, you may find it slightly comforting to know that men are sometimes very good at training their wives to have to use anger to get their attention.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How to be Content in Your Marriage

 

Struggling with learning how to be content in your marriage? Typically, thankfulness is a key ingredient for husbands and wives in such a case.

Though this article is directed at women, I feel both men and women will be able to learn valuable lessons from its content.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Taken for Granted, Couples, Spouse, Wife

 

Feel Taken for Granted by Your Husband or Your Wife?

 

At the heart of many fights between husbands and wives is the simple fact that many spouses feel taken for granted. As a pastoral care counselor and a Christian life coach, I have found that a simple attitude of gratitude can go a long way between couples to alleviate many a fight.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Avoiding Arguments in a Marriage, Differences, Couples

 

Avoiding Arguments in a Marriage

 

There is a better way to go about avoiding arguments in a marriage. Rather than just working hard to hold your tongue, there is actually a way to replace those feelings of anger and frustration with a spirit of thankfulness for the other person.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Softening The Ground Of Her Heart

 

Struggling with moving beyond those emotionally-charged conversations with your spouse? Here’s a little sage advice from Dr. Raymond Force, author of How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting With One Another.

 

The Emotional Mud Pit

 

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Posted in Issues Relating to Husbands


Not Attracted Anymore, Personality, Repel

 

Not Attracted Anymore

 

A vast amount of couples wonder why they were once drawn to one another, yet now they feel they are not attracted to each other. Did you know that although opposites attract, they eventually start to repel from one another?

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The Apology You Never Got

 

As a pastor and a Christian life coach, I have spent many hours teaching people on the importance of forgiveness in marriage and relationships. Without it, no marriage or pre marriage relationship can survive as we are all very flawed individuals in need of mercy from God and those around us.

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Posted in Forgiveness


Love is Not Finding the Right Person

 

If you are having marriage issues, I have found it to be vital to, first of all, understand what love truly is and what it is not. If you have confined love to romantic feelings or feeling giddy about one another, you will find that your relationship will be on a perpetual roller coaster ride.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Simple Marriage Advice, Christian, 2-Step Process

 

Christian-based, yet Simple Marriage Advice

 

Couples having marriage issues are often overwhelmed by the amount of advice available to them from counselors, therapists, books on marriage, and well meaning friends and family members. At times, it is more than they can handle. At Hitting Home,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Going After the Jugular of Marriage Problems

 

If marriage is so wonderful, why are there so many with marriage problems? At Hitting Home, we like to simplify problems down to the least common denominator. Here is a very simple explanation as to why couples struggle.

 

The Fundamental Problem

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How Divorce Affects Children

 

How does divorce in one generation affect the next. Some points to consider:

 

When Dad and Mom Divorce, It Makes it Easier for the Next Generation to Follow Suit

 

Abraham struggled with deception on two separate occasions. Isaac, just a few chapters later,

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Posted in Divorce


Why Do Opposites Attract?

 

Opposites attract in a marital relationship for a variety of reasons. Many view the differences between a man and a woman as a negative. I am a firm believer that the differences between a man and a woman are for our benefit.

 

 Does God Have a Sense of Humor?

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Posted in Marriage Advice


What is Unconditional Love in a Marriage?

 

At one marriage conference that I conducted, a lady spoke up in the back and said something to the effect of, “Doesn’t all of this just get back to the golden rule.” I really could not have said it better myself. In fact, I often say that if you take everything that I say about marriage,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Feel Love Anymore, Giving, Newly Married

 

I Don’t Feel Love Anymore for My Husband / Wife

 

“I just don’t feel love anymore for my spouse.”

“I don’t have love in my heart toward my spouse.”

“I don’t think there is any more love between my spouse and myself.”

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The Most Misunderstood Word in the Human Language

 

Forgiveness in marriage can be a difficult subject as forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood words in our language today. Though forgiveness does not come natural to us, it is, nonetheless an all important subject if you are going to progress in your marriage relationship.

 

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Posted in Forgiveness


Why Some Marriages Improve After an Affair?

 

Without a doubt, if a couple is going to stay together after an affair, they are going to take a trip down a very bumpy road. This is because adultery is the most grievous sin that one can commit against a marriage, and, unfortunately, the only group of people that truly understand its devastating effects are those on the receiving end.

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Posted in Recovering After an Affair


Stop Giving Your Wife Your Leftovers

 

In our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting With One Another, I walk couples through a 2-step process to solving their marriage issues. The first step for men is to start treating their wives as they would a world class business client regardless of how they feel and what they perceive they are getting out of the relationship.

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Posted in Issues Relating to Husbands


Fighting For Your Marriage With Faith

 

If you are a woman that is fighting for your marriage, you will do well to utilize what I call Biblical swords. In our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage without Fighting with One Another, I encourage ladies to lay down the sword of negativity and use the sword of faith along with other forms of Biblical weaponry.

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Posted in Advice for Women


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Posted in Payment Portal for Clients


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Posted in Payment Portal for Clients


Fear of Losing Husband, Wife, Relationship, Marriage

 

Overcome with a Fear of Losing Your Husband or Your Wife?

 

If you have a fear of losing your husband or your wife, there are usually three to four classic mistakes that you will be prone to make.  One of those mistakes is to desperately pursue the other person. 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


When Your Spouse is Trying to Win You Back

 

Are you living with a spouse that is working overtime to win you over? Finding it difficult to process all the changes and accept this new normal around the home? If so, you probably feel slightly overwhelmed in that as you hide out in an emotional break room requesting space,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How To Rebuild Trust In A Marriage

 

We hope you enjoy this excerpt from chapter 5 of our new Christian marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another. It not only shows couples how to rebuild trust in a marriage,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How to Win Your Spouse Back

 

If you are looking for answers on how to win your husband back (or your wife), we are offering Christian-based help. Mark it down, however, a spirit of desperation will do little to help you to win your spouse back. Here is some Christian-based advice on this subject.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Great Motives But Lousy Methods

 

Most couples fight for their marriage in a way that hurts their relationship instead of helping it. I admit, their motives are usually honorable, but it is their methods that are less than effective.

Moses had a great motive when he came to the aid of the Hebrew slave in Exodus 2:11-12.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How To Stay Encouraged In Your Marriage

If you are feeling discouraged in your marriage, you may need to tweak your expectations.  You are about to read one of the most important bits of counseling advice that Dr. Force shares with couples in need.

 

Results-Driven versus Right-Driven

 

Husbands and wives trying to resolve their issues have a way of setting themselves up for feelings of discouragement in marriage.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Husband Acts Like a Child, Childish Emotions, Feelings

 

Feeling like Your Husband Acts Like a Child?

 

Do you feel as if your wife or your husband acts like a child? Dr. Force is a firm believer that a vast amount of people become emotionally stuck around the age of eleven or twelve.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Is Communication in Marriage Overrated?

 

Communication in marriage is unbelievably important. In fact, what most couples should be communicating in the context of adultlike conversation, they are often relating in the context of a childlike spat. Many couples assume rather than ask. They suppress until they have to express, and, when they finally get around to venting their feelings,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Do Nice Gals Finish Last?

 

Contrary to popular opinion, nice guys (and gals) do not finish last. In fact, the scriptures teach the exact opposite. Proverbs 25:15 says:

 

“By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone.”

 

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Posted in Advice for Women


Don’t Just Pray, Obey for Your Marriage

 

If married couples want the blessings of God, they should also be careful to walk in a way that is pleasing to Him. The Bible is clear that if couples desire His blessings, they should also be sure to understand the importance of obedience to God in marriage.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


An Absurd Wedding Ceremony

 

Imagine attending a wedding in which the groom and the bride exchanged wedding vows like this:

 

“I will love, honor, and cherish you when I feel like it.”

 

Could you imagine the confused looks on the faces of the attendees?

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Do You Want To Be Right Or Have A Great Marriage?

 

Husbands and wives can be absolutely right, yet incredibly wrong in how they convey that rightness. Take a look at this excerpt from chapter 4 of our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another.

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Using Thankfulness To Solve Your Marriage Problems

 

When trying to solve marriage problems, it is vital that each participant use Biblical tactics.  One of the first steps that we walk women through is to lay down the sword of negativity and take hold of Biblical swords. One of those swords is the sword of thankfulness.

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Posted in Advice for Women


The Top Mistake Couples Make In A Fight

 

Yep. This is exactly why most couples get absolutely nowhere when they fight. Take a look at this excerpt from our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting With One Another, by Dr. Raymond Force. And, yes, we certainly understand that the roles are often flipped.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Martyrdom in Marriage

 

Here is an excerpt from our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage without Fighting with One Another, that gives wives some instruction as well as encouragement on how to better fight for their marriage in a way that is not only Biblical,

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Posted in Advice for Women


Does Your Spouse Want Out?

 

What is a person to do if they want the marriage, but their spouse wants to call the marriage quits? How should a husband or a wife respond when they just cannot seem to get the other person to show the love that they desire to have?

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Laying Down The Sword of Negativity

 

For men, romance starts in the eyes and then has a way of moving to the rest of the body. For women, things are a little different as romance starts in the mind, and, after that, she can make her eyes work from there.

Even at an early age,

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Posted in Advice for Women


Now For Love’s Sake

 

Upon first meeting their wives, men are superb about treating them like the Queen of Sheba. At this juncture, women feel they are in their rightful place as they have a sense of feeling valued, protected, and secure about the relationship. Be that as it may, through time and circumstance,

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Posted in Issues Relating to Husbands


Frustrated Spouse, Husband, Feelings of Frustration

 

 Are you a Frustrated Spouse?  Struggling with Feelings of Frustration as a Husband or Wife?

 

Constantly feel like a frustrated spouse?  Are you a husband or wife that consistently struggles with feelings of anger and frustration toward your mate?  Here is some Christian marriage counseling advice from Dr.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


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