Learning How to Work on Marriage is Something that Must be Learned
Contrary to popular opinion, love does not come natural to humans (Romans 3:17). Now, hormones, romance, and a desire for the opposite sex do, but understanding how to truly love those around us and knowing how to work on marriage is a trait that must be learned.
Selfishness Comes Natural for Us
Have you ever had to teach a child how to be selfish? It’s almost a rhetorical question in that the answer is no. It should also be noted that as many people grow older, they usually do not stop being selfish as much as they learn that they have to act in a more sophisticated fashion in order to get their way.
If It Was Easy
I once heard someone say, “If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.”. The same is true with marriage and relationships. That is, sacrificially loving your spouse is not something that comes natural to us, nor is it always an easy task. In fact, at times, it is downright difficult.
I believe the divorce rate is now hovering around 50%, and, to be honest, if it was not for the fact that many are living together today, I believe that statistic would be much higher. Nevertheless, I am a firm believer that one of the reasons why the divorce rate is so high is because we have raised a couple of generations that know very little about how to work on marriage and relationships. In our day, many seem to be looking for an easy road to a happy marriage that is paved with wonderful feelings of euphoria. Sorry, I am not so sure that road exists in life.
Many have entered into marriage thinking that love is some natural phenomenon that automatically comes to those that are meant for one another. Not to be rude, but to that I say, “Phooey!”. Though feelings of love and infatuation can be a great glue for dating couples and newlyweds, unless that same couple learns how to love the other person in a sacrificial way, they are headed for trouble in their relationship.
It is never easy to learn how to love someone in a sacrificial way, and it is vital to understand that it is against our natural bent to do so. However, our 2-step process to learning how to work on marriage teaches couples how to move against their natural desires and love each other a way that moves their marriage to a higher plain.