How to Survive Too Much Time Together

Many of the controls that we are accustomed to have changed. We are not waking up at the same time, our jobs are in question, our children’s sporting events have been canceled, there are few places of worship to attend, and the list goes on. As a result, there are a vast amount of anchor points for our thoughts and emotions that have quickly vanished.

At this time, it will be easy for your marriage to get what I call bad advertisement if you do not determine to take the oversight over a few key areas. These areas may include any of the following:

If you have found yourself at home much more than usual, make yourself useful.

Honestly, I had to learn this lesson the hard way years ago. If I had a job change or a lapse in work, I would often become a dead weight around the home instead of a force for good (no pun intended).

To put it plainly, make yourself useful around the house. Help with the housework. Put the video games in the closet. Connect with your children. Be aware of the needs in the home.

One of the main complaints I hear from wives is that their husbands are unaware of their surroundings as they relate to the needs of the children and day to day operations of the home. When a man is aloof to the needs of a home, the woman feels he has a lack of concern for her and the workload she carries. She will feel taken for granted and resentment will build until, one day, she bursts.

Give each other space

It is hard to miss someone that is always around. There is nothing wrong with giving your spouse a little space, especially during these times.

My wife loves being by herself. I formerly took offence to this, but I found that she is more engaged and refreshed when she has had some time to herself.

I, on the other hand, love being around people. In fact, I loathe being in an empty house. However, different is not bad, it is just different. If your spouse is requesting space, stop taking it personally.

Christ often found time to be alone and refresh His spirit with the Father (Matthew 14:23). Some people require this a little more than others. If it was good for Christ, maybe it will help your spouse, and, consequently, everyone else.

Set goals for this time

Right now, my wife and I are remodeling our home. During this time of strained travel, we are trying to get as much accomplished as possible.

Proverbs tells us that a lack of vision produces death. In fact, it was Tim Lahaye in his book, How to Cope with Depression, that stated that goal-oriented people rarely get depressed.

It is more than vital to keep your head up and your vision clear at this time. Set some reasonable goals and you will find that this has a way of keeping your spirit free from discouragement.

Read, read, and read some more

I am convinced that couples that learn and talk about what they are learning have a way of lifting their marriage to a higher level.

The scriptures tell us that a lack of knowledge breeds destruction. Hence, an abundance of knowledge should produce life in ourselves, and, hopefully, our home.

Right now, I am reading or listening to the following:

• • • 5 chapters a day from the Bible. Some days I miss, but, this is usually my goal.
    • I read straight through Matthew Henry’s Commentary. I am on volume 3 at this time.
    • I am listening to J. Vernon McGee’s 5 year Thru the Bible teachings.
    • I am attempting to memorize the book of Proverbs.
    • The autobiography of Charles Spurgeon
    • Pilgrim’s Progress by Bunyan
    • The Bullet Proof Washington by David Barton
    • Rich Dad’s Guide to Investing by Robert Kiyosaki

I will not list my wife’s reading and/or listening list, but it is greater than mine.

Overall, take oversight of your life and marriage. Don’t be a slave to this situation. Overcome evil with good, especially good life choices, and you will always be pleased with the results.

Food for thought – Dr. Force