I Peter 3:7 teaches that husbands are to honor their wives. What does this mean? How can a husband put this into practice? What are some practical ways that a husband can honor his wife? Here are a few pointers from Dr. Raymond Force, author of How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another.
The Actual Verse
If you are not well acquainted with I Peter 3:7, here is the verse:
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
Before I Get Started
Before I give a few ways that a husband can honor his wife as I Peter 3:7 teaches, I have something to get off my chest. That is, this idea that the biblical model pushes women down is absolutely ridiculous. This notion has been purported by scripturally illiterate people that filter selected verses through their unbelief and misunderstanding of a holy and loving God.
In I Peter 3:7, we have yet another verse that teaches us that a biblical man does not use his position to push down his wife, but exalt her. In fact, if a man uses the Bible simply as a tool to control his wife, he is altogether unbiblical, and his spirit is contrary to the Spirit of Christ.
Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. As a member of His bride, the church, I can truly say that I am exalted all the more for my submission to the greatest Servant, the Lord Jesus Christ (Philippians 2:5). In fact, sin simply brought me down, but Jesus Christ, the church’s groom, lifted me up.
In the same way, a biblical marriage does not bring women down as much as it exalts their powerful, yet beautiful influence in our lives. That is, the biblical model for marriage does not demean women, it exalts them, provides protection for them, and promotes an atmosphere for them to do what they do best, exercise their femininity.
How Can a Husband Show Honor to His Wife
Here are a few ways that a husband can show honor to his wife in accordance to I Peter 3:7:
By adding value to her life
First of all, notice that I used the word adding. That is, marriage is to be an add-on to what Christ is already doing in someone’s life.
In our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another, I wrote:
“I deem marriage to be the icing on top of the cake. That is, matrimony is a fringe benefit to what the Lord has already done in our lives. Unfortunately, some men and women have little or no cake upon which that icing can rest. In cases as such, their mates often grow weary in their attempts at blessing them as, deep down, I believe they know they can never take the place of God in their lives.”
By taking interest in her interests
By not discounting her words in front of the children
Parents should always work at establishing what I call a united front before the children.
By not criticizing her ideas even though they differ from yours
By maintaining an awareness of her emotional needs
Just as Christ knows what we need before we even ask, I believe a godly husband will maintain an awareness of his wife’s state.
By considering her viewpoint instead of dismissing it
Most of the time, if I make a decision that my wife is not for, it ends up being a bad decision. The same Holy Spirit that leads me can lead her.
By not exposing her to emotional temptations
If at all possible, it is best for husbands to cover their wives so as to protect them from emotional storms that they should not have to handle. If a husband fails in this area, he will often end up with a wife that hardens her heart to the point where she finds it difficult to show softness. The end result is rarely pleasant, and it often takes years for husbands to reverse that process.
Here are a few ways that a husband can protect his wife emotionally:
Be sure that she knows that you have eyes for only her
Lead do not drive
As much as is possible, be financially stable
Be open to the idea that you may not have it all together (most women are not looking for perfection, only honesty)
Make sure she knows you want to be at home and with her (a good night out is a good night in)
Be honest (not even white lies, they do not exist)
Work at being a blessing to the family
Check Out Our Marriage Book
To learn How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another, check out Dr. Raymond Force’s marriage book which gives couples a Biblical and refreshing approach to solving their marriage problems. Find out more about our marriage book.