I Peter 3:7 teaches that husbands are to honor their wives. What does this mean? How can a husband put this into practice? What are some practical ways that a husband can honor his wife? Here are a few pointers from Dr. Raymond Force, author of How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another.
The Actual Verse
If you are not well acquainted with I Peter 3:7, here is the verse:
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
Before I Get Started
Before I give a few ways that a husband can honor his wife as I Peter 3:7 teaches, I have something to get off my chest. That is, this idea that the biblical model pushes women down is absolutely ridiculous. This notion has been purported by scripturally illiterate people that filter selected verses through their unbelief and misunderstanding of a holy and loving God.
In I Peter 3:7, we have yet another verse that teaches us that a biblical man does not use his position to push down his wife, but exalt her. In fact, if a man uses the Bible simply as a tool to control his wife, he is altogether unbiblical, and his spirit is contrary to the Spirit of Christ.
Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. As a member of His bride, the church, I can truly say that I am exalted all the more for my submission to the greatest Servant, the Lord Jesus Christ (Philippians 2:5). In fact, sin simply brought me down, but Jesus Christ, the church’s groom, lifted me up.
In the same way, a biblical marriage does not bring women down as much as it exalts their powerful, yet beautiful influence in our lives. That is, the biblical model for marriage does not demean women, it exalts them, provides protection for them, and promotes an atmosphere for them to do what they do best, exercise their femininity.
How Can a Husband Show Honor to His Wife
Here are a few ways that a husband can show honor to his wife in accordance to I Peter 3:7:
By adding value to her life
First of all, notice that I used the word adding. That is, marriage is to be an add-on to what Christ is already doing in someone’s life.
In our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another, I wrote:
“I deem marriage to be the icing on top of the cake. That is, matrimony is a fringe benefit to what the Lord has already done in our lives. Unfortunately, some men and women have little or no cake upon which that icing can rest. In cases as such, their mates often grow weary in their attempts at blessing them as, deep down, I believe they know they can never take the place of God in their lives.”
By taking interest in her interests
This is a part of our 2nd step. You may read more about this in our marriage book or our article called How Manure Saved My Marriage.
By not discounting her words in front of the children
Parents should always work at establishing what I call a united front before the children.
By not criticizing her ideas even though they differ from yours
By maintaining an awareness of her emotional needs
Just as Christ knows what we need before we even ask, I believe a godly husband will maintain an awareness of his wife’s state.
By considering her viewpoint instead of dismissing it
Most of the time, if I make a decision that my wife is not for, it ends up being a bad decision. The same Holy Spirit that leads me can lead her.
By not exposing her to emotional temptations
If at all possible, it is best for husbands to cover their wives so as to protect them from emotional storms that they should not have to handle. If a husband fails in this area, he will often end up with a wife that hardens her heart to the point where she finds it difficult to show softness. The end result is rarely pleasant, and it often takes years for husbands to reverse that process.
Here are a few ways that a husband can protect his wife emotionally:
Be sure that she knows that you have eyes for only her
Lead do not drive
As much as is possible, be financially stable
Be open to the idea that you may not have it all together (most women are not looking for perfection, only honesty)
Make sure she knows you want to be at home and with her (a good night out is a good night in)
Be honest (not even white lies, they do not exist)
Work at being a blessing to the family
Check Out Our Marriage Book
To learn How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another, check out Dr. Raymond Force’s marriage book which gives couples a Biblical and refreshing approach to solving their marriage problems. Find out more about our marriage book.
I am a christian Husband, unfortunately, i feel as a failure. I have reached out to my wife, its harder because i know now my marriage is at a danger zone. I have avoided hints from my wife, not because i didnt want to address the issue, but because ive been bombarded w life issues and trying to avoid conflict by argument.
I feel like i have sacrifced so much, with her sacrificing nothin. Now my wife is leading to a divorce. I have not cheated on her by adultry. I dont desire anyone, she doesn’t hear me out no more. Her heart has harden. Im desperate and emotionally distrout. I feel unworthy of her companionship she avoids me, ahe refuses to believe in me, dispite of my Blessing her w continuing to help in any way i know how.
Shes givin up on me. I love my wife. Im scared and she has been the most inconsiderate person ever. Prayers please
Father, restoration and trust take time. Healing takes time. Forgiveness takes time. I ask you father. Stop time Lord. Make the Sun stand still. Make the universe halt. Heal our hearts. Mend them Lord. Unite your servant with his wife if it is your plan. Lift up this man. Breath into the dry bones and dwell in Him. Create in us the hearts you desire. In your Holy name. Amen
I have so much wanted a Godly husband like this. I have been married to a alcoholic for 5 years. I have prayed for him,stood beside him when he went into treatment and when he got out he eventually went back to drinking. Honestly I have lost all faith of it getting better. I am so discouraged. Please pray for me and my husband. I don’t want a divorce but I don’t won’t to go thru this anymore either.
Anonomous, Don’t be discouraged, there is still hope FOR YOU, when you have done all you can and when its all in Gods hands, then all you can do is continue to choose life for yourself, you are not responsible for his choices , you are responsible for yours and taking care of your emotional well being is imperative!. Faith without works is dead, we can trust God but taking action is important and that action can be to take care of yourself. I know that divorce sounds awful and that both leaving and or staying have consequences, no one can really tell us what to do, no one is in our shoes, they dont understand what we go thru, what we feel and no one will live the consequences of our choices, only us. but I wonder if the pain of leaving someone who doesn’t genuinely desire to put much effort into the marriage, into living a free life and loving us is worth the intense pain of staying. I understand your pain bcs Ive been in this boat for 11 years, he is currently on the top list for a liver transplant in a good clinic, it has reached this point… Ive dealt with fear, guilt and so many other bumps on the road that have stopped me from leaving. Its very hard depending on circumstances, sopport, upbringing and so many other things that im not even aware of, bcs being in this situation is hard, emotionally draining, discouraging, but one thing that Ive learned from this is that we are not how they treat us, or what they say to us, or how they unapprove of us with their look etc… we are daughters of the king, worthy of being loved, valued, protected, cherished and restored unto wholeness. Find peace in the middle of the storm, in Jesus, the good shephard, find good sopport from people who are wise, understanding and loving, bcs God can will turn our mourning into dancing, our sorrows into joy and I trust that he will as we continue to walk with him. We dont have to remain in this condition where we feel that we are less than and that we are victims, bcs we really aren’t. be encouraged, you are not alone, I trust that you will continue to grow in your walk with Christ and that as you do that he will continue to strengthen you and empower you with his wisdom and might to do what you need to do out of love for your husband, your children and yourself….
I know the pain all too well of not bei g honored by my husband We’ve been together since 1996,(both of us 17) married since 2008… we’ve separated numerous times due to him smoking weed , dealing drugs, doing drugs , being an alcoholic. He’s lied to me over and over and im broken. In 2010 I found out he was cheating on me after having our 3rd child. After that I started going to church & accepted Jesus as my savior, along the way my husband began going with me and we got baptised together. I was able to forgive him by letting God change MY heart. I had my own faults of screaming and yelling and never letting him talk and decided to let him have more responsibility in being the disciplinarian because i always was. He’s never felt like the “man of the house” . After everything I’ve done to fight for our marriage, I found out 3 mths ago he’s been lying and getting high for a the last year. I fasted recently,have been praying for us and our marriage to be restored but I’m tired of the lies, no trust & this dysfunctional life for me my kids. Lord knows I don’t want to get divorced but at this point he has no intentions to stop getting high so I’m left with deciding what’s best for me. I’ve been selfless for 20yrs. He don’t appreciate what he has.
Lord be with you, grant you peace and strength through your trials. May God deliver your husband fully and permanently from this temptation. Amen
Praying for you .. May the Holy Spirit guide you and all attacks on your marriage be broken in the name of Jesus … addiction spirit be broken and healing for both of them. God bless you.