Living with a Difficult Husband, Zoning Out

Are You Living with a Difficult Husband?

Men can be very stubborn. I should know, I am one. Nevertheless, if you are living with a difficult husband, you may find it slightly comforting to know that men are sometimes very good at training their wives to have to use anger to get their attention. Though this would never condone unbiblical behavior, it may explain as to why you sometimes feel at your whits end.

Are Married Men Deaf?

As much as I coach women not to use anger and frustration as a tool to motivate their husband, many men make it difficult for their wives to take heed to this advice.

As a young married man, I was often guilty of zoning out on my wife. It was not uncommon for my wife to make the same request four or five times until the only option left in her arsenal was to cry, sigh, lose her cool, or act annoyed. Slowly but surely I was training my wife that she had to use anger, coldness, and frustration to get me to pay attention.

Men, a good amount of us have actually done a very good job at training our wives in such a manner. More than we realize, we have taught our wives that anger is a cure for deafness in married men. Though in the long run her anger will prove to be counterproductive, in her mind, at least it brings some sort of immediate relief to a situation.

Why is She Getting Upset?

Many men are annoyed that their wife is often, well, annoyed. Yet, is it possible that you have helped to create this mess? Is it possible that instead of getting upset at her, you should focus more on why she is getting so upset in the first place? Could it be that your wife complains of living with a difficult husband because you are actually difficult to live with? Could it be that you could establish a new normal in your marriage by showing her that you are attentive to her needs and wants without her having to resort to such behavior?