In our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting With One Another, I walk couples through a 2-step process to solving their marriage issues. The first step for men is to start treating their wives as they would a world class business client regardless of how they feel and what they perceive they are getting out of the relationship.
Most readily admit that if the average man treated his clients or his business associates for that matter like he has his wife in the last six months, he would either be broke or out of a job a long time ago.
How Do You Treat Your Business Clients?
If a customer, business client, or higher-up misunderstands a matter, what do most men in the business world do? Do they get critical, sarcastic, or demeaning? Absolutely not. It’s almost a rhetorical question in that those worth their salt listen with genuine concern and attentiveness.
If a potential client is about to sign on the dotted line yet he starts to show apprehension, how do most men react that are in the work force? They show concern and empathy, and they strive to answer their every question. Unfortunately, with many men, this willingness to please and serve often ends with a hard days work at the office or the job site.
For some reason, many men tend to believe it is acceptable to treat those closest to them the worst. If anything, the opposite should be the norm, especially if you are desiring to makes strides in the area of learning how to love your wife.
Have you ever heard someone say something cutting or rude and then say something to the effect of:
“It’s okay because he’s like family.”
Have you ever thought about what is being said when this occurs? He or she is trying to convince others that it is okay to treat someone in a less than appropriate manner as long as they are “like family”.
More than we realize, many of us have adopted the philosophy that it is perfectly normal and acceptable to treat those with whom we live with less respect and love than those at church or the office. It must be noted that though this is normal in our society today, it is unacceptable according to the scriptures (Ephesians 4:29).
Whether you are a businessman, mechanic, pastor, blue or white collar worker, when you get home, your work is just beginning. When you walk through the doors of your home, it is not time to get lax as it is to work just as hard at pleasing your wife as most men do their clientele, bosses, or associates.
I’ve tried so hard explaining this to him but he’s tired and worn out from working that he doesn’t care to work on our marriage. Me and our five children are just disappointments and burdens.