Are you a Frustrated Spouse? Struggling with Feelings of Frustration as a Husband or Wife?
Constantly feel like a frustrated spouse? Are you a husband or wife that consistently struggles with feelings of anger and frustration toward your mate? Here is some Christian marriage counseling advice from Dr. Force that should help you to overcome your feelings of frustration toward your spouse.
How do You Respond when Your Spouse Irritates You?
When your spouse irritates you, how do you feel? Better yet, how do you respond as a result of those feelings? If you feel angry, do your words and your tone of voice follow suit? If you feel cold, indifferent, or lackluster toward your spouse, do your actions and your words portray your feelings? If the answer is yes, then I can safely say that you are in a feelings-dominated marriage and your actions are a servant to your feelings (Romans 6:16).
Whereas feelings make a marvelous caboose, they tend to make a lousy locamotive. They are a bad marriage counselor, and they will often betray you.
Not only that, but if you are following your feelings when your spouse frustrates you, your feelings are the god of your marriage. They have replaced Biblical principles and the leadership of the Holy Spirit.
Is Your Christianity Working?
I am often approached by people that have been attending some type of a church for years. They profess to be Christians, and they may even be relatively active in church life. Nonetheless, as a frustrated spouse, if they follow feelings of anger, malice, coldness, apathy, or bitterness when their spouse acts in an unloving fashion, the Holy Spirit is not their God at that particular time as much as their feelings are.
Paul mentioned something along these lines years ago in Philippians 3:19. In this chapter, he spoke of those “whose God is their belly”.
Paul was plainly speaking of people that were religious in nature yet self-deceived at that. Though dreadfully religious, they followed their passions instead of Biblical principles. Let’s stop here and meditate a while. Once again, in the context of an argument or a spat with your spouse, do you adhere to Biblical principles concerning love, kindness, and patience, or do you allow your negative feelings to dictate your behavior? If you admit to the latter, then your god during marital conflict is not Jesus and His principles, it is your belly or shall we say the feelings you have within.
Why is this Important?
This is all crucial for the following reasons:
1. I often meet Christians that are confused because Christianity has little effect upon their marriage. They are active in church, they are faithful to serve, yet they feel slightly bewildered because their marriage seems almost unaffected by Christianity. Could it be that though Christ is indeed your Savior and the Holy Spirit lives inside of you that you have not learned how to say no to unholy and unloving feelings and yes to Biblical principles and Spirit led actions.
2. Feelings make a bad taskmaster, and they typically lead you down a path filled with strife and confusion.
I appreciate this article, but it is incomplete. Letting feelings dictate..the marriage…when frustrated..my marriage,he refused to speak his truths it didn’t matter what I said or did, according to him everything was my fault. I relate to your article because all the prayer, scripture reading, attending church,etc. didn’t make a difference or improvement in our marriage. It confused me. Still does. So why an incomplete article? Did I miss something?