Blog Archives

How the Bible Helps My Marriage

 

The older I get and the longer I teach the Bible, the bolder I become in teaching that the Bible is the best and only standard for couples to follow. Here is a short-list of reasons why I believe this to be the case.

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Obey Your Way Through Your Marriage Problems

 

This Last Sunday

 

This last Sunday, I taught out of the book of Kings and Chronicles. The entire sermon was based on one principle: When Israel’s kings obeyed God, they were blessed by God. When they walked in disobedience to God, their tenures were plagued with treachery and trouble.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


New Year, New Approach to Marriage

 

Ecclesiastes 10:10 tells us that sharpening an ax is a much better way to improve the cutting process than simply swinging a little harder.

In the same way, many of you have worked ever so hard in the last year on your marriage only to come up a little shorter than a year ago.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Some Things Marriage Counselors Are Afraid to Say

 

There are some things that just need to be said from time to time but those that work with couples may be afraid to say it. Here are a few points that are difficult to articulate in our current culture yet still need to be said. In fact,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The Mature or Not So Mature Spouse

 

Most of my coaching involves encouraging people to do what their parents should have taught them growing up. Whether the need is to exhibit more self control, show contentment, be thankful, or to love unconditionally, I find that the greatest ailment plaguing our society is that of immaturity.

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Posted in Issues Relating to Husbands, Marriage Advice


Marriage Evangelism – A Copy for You and a Friend in Need

 

Marriage Evangelism

 

I have been told that 3 out of 4 couples that visit church for the first time make that decision because they are having problems in their marriage. That said, this is one of the reasons why I say that all of our counseling and coaching on marriage falls underneath two categories: evangelism or discipleship.

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Posted in Dr. Raymond Force's Musings, Marriage Advice


Who’s in Charge of Your Marriage?

 

When men fail to love their wives because of what they perceive to be a lack of responsiveness, they are allowing themselves to be controlled by the behavior of their wives. In fact, I find that these two things are occurring when this transpires:

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


When You are the Only One Working on the Marriage

 

I often receive the question, “Is there hope for my marriage even if I am the only one working on the marriage?” Let me take a few moments to provide some help for those that feel they are a lone ranger of sorts in their marriage.

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How to Survive a Loveless Marriage

 

How to Survive in a Loveless Marriage

 

It seems to be common to hear people tell me that they feel they are in a loveless marriage. Some wonder how long their time of waiting will last while others feel they are often at their breaking point.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Given Up on Your Marriage?

 

What do you say to a spouse or a couple that has lost all desire for their marriage? For spouses or couples in such a state, I often have a rather unique question that I ask.

 

The Question

 

Instead of asking,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The Ultimate Answer for Marriage Problems

 

I have never seen two truly spiritually healthy people with a bad marriage. What can we learn from this? What does this say about the ultimate answer for our marriage problems today? Below are a few thoughts that should help us in this matter.

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Marriage and Money, Help for Christian Couples

 

Money and Marriage

 

There are three things couples argue about the most: money, physical intimacy, and children. Though there are other matters that sometimes come into play, these three areas seem to come up the most when couples air their dirty laundry to me.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The Stonewalling Spouse and How it Hurts a Marriage

 

Stonewalling – How it Hurts a Marriage

 

Whether you are on the giving or the receiving end of stonewalling, it is, nonetheless, harmful to a relationship. Let me share with you a few thoughts about what stonewalling is and how to better deal with it.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How Old Do You Act In Your Marriage?

 

When conflict arises between you and your spouse, how old do you act?

 

Confession

 

Early in marriage, I was on a 10 year old level when conflict came my way. As most ten year olds do, I would get emotional,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How To Reach A Hard-Hearted Spouse

 

When dealing with difficult marital situations, I often say that it is good to remember that we are not able to do more than God. However, I hope to give a little advice in this article to those trying ever so hard to reach that hard-hearted spouse.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


What is a Christian Marriage?

 

Do you have a Christian marriage? Have questions such as, “What is a Christian marriage?” Let’s take a look at what really makes a Christian marriage.

 

 

A Little Test

 

A few years ago, if I were to give a test to see how Christian a Christian marriage is,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The Unhappy Christian Marriage

 

Over the years, I have met a number of people that name the name of Christ yet tell me that they feel they have an unhappy Christian marriage. Let me offer a few possibilities as to why this may occur from time to time.

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Are You a Reactionary Spouse?

 

Are You a Reactionary Spouse?

 

How do you handle your marriage or pre marriage problems? Are you simply reactionary or are you what I call a life-long learner?

 

 

The Negative Consequences of Being Reactionary

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice, Personal Growth


Why the Biblical Model for Marriage is the Best Model?

 

Why the Biblical Model for Marriage is the Best Model

 

Why is the Biblical model for marriage the best model? Why are God’s teachings on the husband and wife relationship far superior to those that would contradict His Word? Here are a few points to consider that should strengthen our faith in the Bible.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


What Does it Mean for the Wife to Submit to Her Husband?

 

The last few weeks at our church, I have been teaching from Titus 2, Ephesians 5:22-24, and Colossians 3:18-19. These verses teach the following:

Ephesians 5:22-24

 

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife,

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Posted in Advice for Women, Marriage Advice


Working on the Marriage or Managing the Marriage?

 

I do not find that women manage relationships very well. Though there are a number of reasons why this may be the case, I find that if a woman finds herself in a scenario where she is managing a man, a pre marriage relationship, or a marriage,

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Posted in Advice for Women, Marriage Advice


The 6 Paradoxes of Marriage for Men

 

Marriage presents a number of interesting paradoxes for men, and, their ability to maneuver through these paradoxes and come out smiling will, many times, determine the success of their marriage.

Though I certainly am not one to put 100 percent of the responsibility on the man,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The Strongest Connection Points for Couples

 

Colossians 3:13-19 is a great passage of scripture dealing with marriage as well as other areas. Though I have written about verses 18 and 19 in other articles, I would like to convey an all-important lesson from verse 14 as it relates to marriage.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How to Have a Happy Marriage

 

Help on How to Have a Happy Marriage

 

My wife and I do not have a happy marriage because we have one another. We have a great marriage because we are happy and fulfilled before we even see one another. The love and happiness we share is out of the overflow of what God is already doing in our lives.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


What Does It Mean For The Husband To Be The Head Of The Home?

 

There is probably not a more in-politically correct teaching in the Bible than that of Ephesians 5:22-25. However, much of the consternation surrounding teachings as such flow from a misunderstanding of God’s view on the husband being the head of the house. Let’s take a look at what it means for the husband to be the head of the house or the family.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Signs of a Dysfunctional Marriage or Pre Marriage Relationship

 

Here are a few signs of a dysfunctional marriage or pre marriage relationship that should help you to assess the state of your relationship with your spouse or significant other.

 

Dysfunctional Behavior is No Longer Shocking

 

Dysfunctional marriages and relationships have a way of desensitizing each participant to its negative aspects.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


What to do When Children are Causing Marriage Problems

 

Feeling as if Your Children are Causing Marriage Problems?

 

There are three things couples argue about the most; money, sex, and children. Here is more Christian-based help for those feeling that their children are causing marriage problems.

 

Your Children are Not the Issue

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Signs of a Controlling Spouse, Romans 12:18

 

A Few Signs of a Controlling Spouse

 

Are you a controlling spouse? Are you possibly married to a controlling spouse? Here are a few signs of a controlling signs that should help you to understand if you are, indeed, married to a controlling spouse or guilty of such behavior.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Would God Want Me to Stay in a Bad Marriage?

 

Of course, I will not be able to solve every marriage problem with this article, but I hope to be able to shed a little more light on the matter for those wondering, “Would God want me to stay in a bad marriage?”

Some Really Bad Doctrine

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How to be a Better Husband or Wife

 

Advice on How to be a Better Husband or Wife

 

People often come to me to learn how to be a better husband or wife. During that process, they will either ask questions or make statements as such:

 

“How can I be a better husband or wife?”

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The Unhappy Christian Wife

 

Are you an Unhappy Christian Wife?

 

There seems to be a growing epidemic of Christian wives that are striving so hard to meet a Christian standard in their home that they fail to meet one of the most important standards of all, joy.

Romans 14:17 teaches:

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Why Marriage is Sometimes Hard

 

I am a firm believer that if you let life happen, life has a way of running you over. In fact, Matthew Henry said, “The way of sin is always downhill.” I like to put it like this:

There is no such position as neutral in the Christan life because sin and selfishness are like gravity.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Simplified Marriage Counseling

 

The average couple that comes to me for marriage help knows more counseling terms than I do. As they describe their plight, they often relate their abandonment issues, the narcissistic tendencies of their spouse, and their list of diagnoses from other counselors.

My training is not in the area of psychology or therapy.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Will the Wife Always be Happy if the Husband Loves Her? – Ephesians 5:25-28

 

Will the wife always by happy if a husband loves her as Christ loved the Church?

 

There is a popular teaching in the body of Christ today dealing with marriage that is sometimes misused or over generalized. It goes something like this:

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Peace in Marriage, James 4:1-2

 

Peace Without is Best Secured when both have Peace Within

 

James 4:1-2 shows us that people war without as a result of a lack of peace within, and I have found that this is especially true in marriage.

 

James 4:1-2

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Why Couples Should Stop Playing the Blame Game

 

Why Nobody Wins when Couples Play the Blame Game

 

Nobody wins when couples play the blame game, except, of course, for divorce attorneys. Let me give you a few reasons as to why couples should stop playing the blame game.

stop playing the blame game

It has Never Worked

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Normal Marriage, What is it?

 

You probably have more of a Normal Marriage than you think

 

Being someone that has counseled and coached couples from all different walks of life, I have come to the conclusion that most couples struggle with basically the same issues. That is, you may be surprised to find out that you have more of a normal marriage than you think.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


A Little Perspective

 

A few years ago, I received a phone call from a church that wanted to host one of our marriage events on a Friday evening. After solidifying a date, we were blessed to minister to a small group of about 30 or so out in the middle of nowhere.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How to Improve Your Marriage

 

As you consider ways to improve your marriage, you should understand that marriages do not improve by themselves. In fact, it takes an amazing amount of emotional and spiritual elbow grease to keep a marriage on track.

 

A Downhill Slide

 

I am a firm believer that if you let life happen,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Marriage Problems with Children

 

Marriage Problems with Children

 

Couples argue about three things the most: money, sex, and children. Though there are other pressures in marriage, it should be said that it can be doubly difficult to fix your marriage problems as well as parenting problems at the same time.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Should I Stay Married for the Kid’s Sake?

 

Should I Stay Married for My Kid’s Sake

 

Many wonder if they should stay in a marriage for the children’s sake. My standard answer for those having what some might call normal marital disagreements is yes. Here’s why:

should i stay married for the kids sake
 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The Controlling Christian Wife

 

I certainly understand that there are a vast amount of husbands that have failed in their marital responsibilities. However, sometimes, there are what I call bad solutions to bad problems. And, it should be noted that even when a husband falls down on the job, it is not a license for a wife to become a controlling wife.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Marriage Ultimatum – Why it Does Not Work

 

Considering a Marriage Ultimatum?

marriage ultimatum
 

I am often asked about marriage ultimatums. Though I am sure that there have been a few times in history when marriage ultimatums have worked, let me provide a little insight as to why they often are futile.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Marriage Problems While The Wife Is Expecting

 

When assisting couples in need, I often ask them how many children they have. I then go on to ask them the age of their children. If I find out that they have a newborn baby or a baby on the way, my counseling and coaching takes on a different flavor.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


What A Woman Wants Deep Down Inside

 

What a woman wants deep down inside is a man that is a cross between William Wallace and her best girlfriend. She wants his strength at 3 pm when he is working hard for the family, but would rather have his tenderness at 9 pm when she is befuddled from a hard day.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Should We Separate?

 

Should We Separate?

 

Couples having extreme marital issues often ask, “Should we separate?” For those in such a state, I trust my advice will help you to find some clarity.

should we separate
 

Separation Seems to Slow the Recovery Process Down

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Should I Get a Divorce, Biblical View

 

Should I Get a Divorce

 

More than we realize, many a spouse goes through their day thinking, “Should I get a divorce?” Thoughts often run through their head as such:

 

Should I stay or leave my spouse?

How will a divorce affect my children?

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Affordable Marriage Counseling, Christian

 

Affordable Marriage Counseling

 

If you are one of those looking for affordable marriage counseling, I have a few suggestions for you:

affordable marriage counseling christian

Check in with a Local Church

 

Though not all pastors like to provide marriage counseling,

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Posted in Marriage Advice, Marriage and the Church


Controlling Husband, Control Freak

 

Controlling Husband

 

As a former control freak, I tend to work well with a controlling husband. In fact, I often say to them that my counseling toward controlling husbands does not have great insight as much as “me sight”. That is, being a former control freak in marriage,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Missing the Mark

 

After 14 years of helping couples in need as a pastor, life coach, and a Christian marriage speaker, I have come to a few conclusions about those in an unhappy marriage:

 

1. It is near impossible to make an unhappy person happy.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


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Know the Top Mistake Men Make in a Fight?
Receive Dr. Force's E-Course on Marriage

Enter Your Email to Receive Your E-Course

Marriage and Relationship Coaching

Over the Phone
Call Us at 1-888-642-3036
Talk Now - Live 24/7 Help
Available on Amazon

Available on Amazon

Order our Christian Marriage Book
How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another

 

  • Learn our 2-step Process to Solving Marriage Issues
  • Use for your next Bible study
  • A Biblical and Refreshing Approach

 

 

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