Help on How to Have a Happy Marriage
My wife and I do not have a happy marriage because we have one another. We have a great marriage because we are happy and fulfilled before we even see one another. The love and happiness we share is out of the overflow of what God is already doing in our lives. Any reversal of this order will lead couples down a long windy path of blame, anger, unmet expectations, and frustration. Truly, the best lovers are those filled with God’s love.
The Tragedy of Tragedies
I truly tire of seeing couples drill holes in places where they will find no water. In other words, I often see couples that think there issues are involving money, sex, the in-laws, and parenting issues. However, I often find that these issues are simply the tip of the iceberg. That is, they are simply the peak that everyone can see that is protruding out of the water. Underneath the surface, the real issues typically lie.
For many couples, the issue is not that they have a difficult time finding peace with their spouse as much as they lack true peace and joy within. Consequently, they spend large amounts of time trying to get the other person to be what only God can be in their lives.
I saw a quote the other day. I thought it was great as it said, “Even the best of spouses make a very poor God.” Truer words have hardly ever been spoken in that many spouses seem to be trying to extract out of their mate what only God is able to supply.
A Little Test
What if you just heard the news that you were the recipient of a very large inheritance? How would you go about your day thereafter? Would the little annoying things that people say and do bother you on that particular day? Of course, the answer is no. It would all be water off of a ducks back.
Do you see what that proves? It shows you that your problem with anger and frustration is not so much with those around you as it is with a lack of joy and peace within your own heart. Though there are a few exceptions to this rule, generally speaking, it is true for many if not most.
Chapter 1 and 2 of our Marriage Book
This is why in our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another, we take so much time in the first two chapters to deal with the fact that if God is not our all in all, then couples will have a difficult time being everything they need to be to one another.