The older I get and the longer I teach the Bible, the bolder I become in teaching that the Bible is the best and only standard for couples to follow. Here is a short-list of reasons why I believe this to be the case.
The Bible Takes the Guessing Game Out of How We Are to Act
Without the scriptures, my wife and I would be led by our emotions, the spirit of the age, what our friends think, what we saw growing up, or, worse yet, Hollywood.
Thankfully, my wife and I do not have to guess at what we are to do in marriage and how we are to treat one another. The scriptures explicitly tell us in Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, Proverbs 5, Galatians 5, and numerous other passages how we are to behave.
I often see couples fight over how to deal with the children, how to handle money, how to deal with in-laws, the meaning of sex, who makes the final decision, et cetera. However, I often feel that the fighting is utterly needless as the scriptures give us a very clear standard by which we should live.
Thankfully, my wife and I do not have to sit around discussing how I feel or how she feels about a matter. Though we are not opposed to considering each other’s feelings, our ultimate standard is settled forever in heaven, the Bible (Psalm 119:85).
The Bible Teaches Us to be Proactive in Our Behavior
In theology, one learns to differentiate between sins of omission and sins of commission. Simply put, sins of omission are those responsibilities that we have often pushed aside that cause us to error in our walk with God and one another. In other words, if we fail to feed our soul, pray in the Spirit, guard our hearts, and surround ourselves with good influences, we will often find ourselves surrounded by trouble.
For many couples, the problem is not what they have done, but what they have failed to do. That is, if most couples would regularly read the scriptures, pray, and stay in tune with the Holy Spirit, they would avoid many of the pitfalls that typically come their way.
The Bible Settles our Spirits
As stated in chapters one and two our of our marriage book, couples that find peace with God find peace with one another. This is taught in I John 1:7, Ephesians 4, and James 4:1-2.
Unfortunately, I find that a great deal of couples have an enormous amount of misguided blame. That is, they often feel that there marital issues are a result of a lack of communication, too much water under the bridge, or a lack of compatibility.
Honestly, I find that the above mentioned issues are rarely the case. In other words, I typically find that spiritually healthy spouses have a healthy relationship with one another. Therefore, the ultimate need for most couples is to grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.
You may feel this is a little over-simplified . . . and my answer to that is this: it’s about time someone oversimplified the matter.
Take a look at our marriage book. It’s having a great effect on many couples, and it may prove to be a great resource for your next Bible study as it is designed for individual as well as group use.