Should We Separate?
Couples having extreme marital issues often ask, “Should we separate?” For those in such a state, I trust my advice will help you to find some clarity.
Separation Seems to Slow the Recovery Process Down
When dealing with couples that have separated, it seems as if the recovery process is often slowed down. That is, once husbands and wives start making the appropriate changes, it is harder for the other person to see and feel the effects of those changes if they are not living in the same household.
Separation Leaves an Empty Bed
The temptation for adultery and seeking the companionship of another person seems to rise when there is an empty space in the marriage bed. For this reason, I recommend that separation be a last resort. However, I must stress that if you are living in an abusive situation, separation may be the only option. Seeking out the advice of a local Christian therapist that is well-versed with abusive situations may be in your best interest.
Separation Conditions our Minds
Leaving the house is often difficult for married couples. But, once this occurs, it seems as if the next time a spouse considers leaving, it gets a little easier. For this reason, I often counsel against separation as long as both are not compromising their own safety.
Sometimes, Separation is Necessary
There are definitely times when separation is necessary, especially in a marriage where someone’s safety is at stake. However, I typically counsel people to exhaust all means of Christian counseling, learning, and changing before going that route.
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