Cursing and Name Calling in Marriage
It is amazing how marriage has a way of making the most sophisticated of adults act like two children fighting on a playground. When this occurs, spouses often resort to name calling. If you are working at overcoming cursing and name calling in marriage, this should prove to be of use.
The Ephesians 4:29 Principle
Couples should refrain from using words and phrases that are demeaning to the other person’s self esteem. Ephesians 4:29 speaks to this matter as it says:
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”
The word “edifying” has its roots in the same word used for edifice which refers to a building. Through Ephesians 4:29, the Lord is encouraging us to use words that build up those around us. Obviously, words such as stupid, jerk, and idiot will do little to cause us to walk in alignment with this verse of scripture.
Cursing is a Sign of a Lack of Faith and Knowledge
As far as cursing is concerned, it should be understood that a curse word is simply the peak of a mountain of unbelief and anger. A person that has to revert to using curse words is exclaiming their lack of faith in God and their inability to solve the issue in a more refined manner.
Christianizing Your Name Calling
Also, I would encourage those of a more religious nature to refrain from spiritualizing or christianizing their name calling in marriage by using phrases such as these:
“You’re rebellious”
“You are acting like a reprobate”
“You just seem so hard hearted.”
“I think you are an unsubmissive wife.”
“Your are full of the devil.”
“You need the Holy Ghost.”
“You should get right with God.”
Whereas one may be right in their assessment of their spouse, he or she will usually find that they will wrong their relationship by using such phrases in the heat of a moment.
Name calling marriage is sign of two adults that have a little work to do in their relationship. Our resources on anger and marriage should prove to be helpful to such couples in need.
- Learn about our proven, 2-step process
- Designed as a couples devotional
- Use in a group study
- A biblical and refreshing approach
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How can I help some friends of mine that are going thru a rough time in their marriage? Should I just stay quiet or should I mind my own business? My heart hurts for them, what can I do? I am definitely praying for them!
The scriptures tell us in Proverbs 4:19 that when people stumble, they are typically unaware of what is specifically tripping them up. This is why God has given us pastors, counselors, advisors, and friends. It is also why the Bible tells us that there is safety in a multitude of counselors.
It is perfectly fine for you to try to advise them and play the role of supporter during this time. However, it is also important that they utilize the help of those that can help them to fast forward themselves through the learning curve. This is where counselors and coaches come in.
If my truck is broke and I cannot seem to fix it, I take it to a specialist. In the same manner, it is often very helpful to get the advice of those that have helped multitudes of couples as they often know what to fix first.
The fundamental problem that I see with most couples is that they do not specifically know what to do first and when to do it to help their situation. Once again, this is where counselors, pastors, and coaches come in to play.