Cursing and Name Calling in Marriage
It is amazing how marriage has a way of making the most sophisticated of adults act like two children fighting on a playground. When this occurs, spouses often resort to name calling. If you are working at overcoming cursing and name calling in marriage, this should prove to be of use.
The Ephesians 4:29 Principle
Couples should refrain from using words and phrases that are demeaning to the other person’s self esteem. Ephesians 4:29 speaks to this matter as it says:
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”
The word “edifying” has its roots in the same word used for edifice which refers to a building. Through Ephesians 4:29, the Lord is encouraging us to use words that build up those around us. Obviously, words such as stupid, jerk, and idiot will do little to cause us to walk in alignment with this verse of scripture.
Cursing is a Sign of a Lack of Faith and Knowledge
As far as cursing is concerned, it should be understood that a curse word is simply the peak of a mountain of unbelief and anger. A person that has to revert to using curse words is exclaiming their lack of faith in God and their inability to solve the issue in a more refined manner.
Christianizing Your Name Calling
Also, I would encourage those of a more religious nature to refrain from spiritualizing or christianizing their name calling in marriage by using phrases such as these:
“You’re rebellious”
“You are acting like a reprobate”
“You just seem so hard hearted.”
“I think you are an unsubmissive wife.”
“Your are full of the devil.”
“You need the Holy Ghost.”
“You should get right with God.”
Whereas one may be right in their assessment of their spouse, he or she will usually find that they will wrong their relationship by using such phrases in the heat of a moment.
Name calling marriage is sign of two adults that have a little work to do in their relationship. Our resources on anger and marriage should prove to be helpful to such couples in need.
- Learn about our proven, 2-step process
- Designed as a couples devotional
- Use in a group study
- A biblical and refreshing approach
My wife often criticizes me. It becomes a bit overwhelming. She recently acted very angry with me over me tipping a $1 at a Subway. This was something she had fussed at me about several months earlier. She thought of it again and acted very angry so I told her to stop being a “Karen.” You won’t be surprised that it wasn’t a helpful response and now I’m the “bad guy.” I will have to apologize to get things better and she most likely won’t apologize.
My husband does this every single day. Curses under his breath and uses belittling words. He says he was baptized but I don’t think he was saved. And unfortunately, this makes my PTSD worse.
Name calling is a character assassination and demeaning no matter who does it, but it is especially hurtful from a spouse. I will be praying for you and your husband. Marriage is a great blessing, but also a great responsibility and difficult because there are two polar opposites blending to be one.
My husband and I have read Night Light by James and Shirley Dobson and are currently reading Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray. If he doesn’t read with you that’s okay, those books will still be a great help for you. I understand my husband more now and try to apply what I’ve learned. But above all, PRAY. God is the only one who can change hearts and lives for both people in a marriage. My heart and prayers go out to you both. God bless you and be with you.