What A Woman Wants Deep Down Inside

Share Button

Opt In Image
Learn the top mistake couples make in a fight

Enter your email to receive Dr. Force's E-course on How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another.


 

Why do married couples struggle? Though there are a variety of answers to this question, I believe that part of the issue is that both men and women want something from their spouse that the other is not necessarily ready, willing, and always able to give. For this reason, I would like to discuss in just a few short paragraphs what a woman wants out of her man.

untitled-design-16
 

A Cross between William Wallace and Her Best Girlfriend

 

What a woman wants deep down inside is a man that is a cross between William Wallace and her best girlfriend. She wants his strength at 3 pm when he is working hard for the family, but would rather have his tenderness at 9 pm when she is befuddled from a hard day.

Though some men may feel this is too high of a standard, keep in mind that this is exactly what every Christian man expects out of Christ. That is, we want a God that is willing and able to fight our battles, but we also want that God that carries all of our burdens and cares. And, if I remember correctly, the Bible does tell men to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

A man, on the other hand, often wants something that is entirely different. He wants a woman that respects him as a man even when he displays his boyish tendencies.

For these reasons, many couples struggle, and, at the heart of many marital spats are the aforementioned issues.

 

Unconditional Love is Willing to be Stretched

 

I Corinthians 13:4-7 says:

 

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

 

As you look at this passage you will notice one key characteristic about true love: true love is willing to be stretched.

Paul tells us that true love “seeketh not her own”, “suffereth long”, and endures “all things”. Quite simply, Paul is teaching that when one is truly loving someone else, they are willing to consider the needs of the other even when it fails to line up with their personality or natural bent.

In regards to knowing what a woman wants, it is vital that men be willing to show a balance of strength and compassion. Though it will not necessarily come natural, the greatest sign of true love is that a husband is willing to step outside of what is natural to him and meet the needs of his wife.

Here is a list of some practical ways to apply these principles:

 

1. The rough and tumble man that has a difficult time understanding his wife’s need for conversation should work just as hard at talking and listening to his wife as he does as earning a paycheck.

 

2. The talkative man that has an easy time romancing his wife should also be willing to be stretched. He will do this by looking for ways to serve his wife by working hard for the family or finding practical ways to serve her.

 

3. A man, at times, has to be willing to convert from being that William Wallace to her best girlfriend on the fly. And, a failure to do so may lead to times that are less than enjoyable.

 

4. A husband will do well to study the character of Christ as He is the best example of what a husband should be. (Ephesians 5:25)

 

5. A man will do well to take on the attitude of Christ as He did not come and demand respect as much as He came and earned it through sacrificial service. Matthew 20:28 says:

 

“Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.”

 

This is an interesting verse in that Christ, the One that could have come and demanded unconditional respect, took upon Himself the form of a servant and earned it by offering unconditional love.

Order our Christian Marriage Book
How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another

 

  • Learn our 2-step Process to Solving Marriage Issues
  • Use for your next Bible study
  • A Biblical Yet Refreshing Approach

 

 

Share Button
Posted in Marriage Advice

8 comments on “What A Woman Wants Deep Down Inside
  1. Cherie says:

    I’ve been in each position mentioned by those commenting, as well as abuse on many levels. Respect and submission were truly dastardly and terrifying words ushering in defensiveness, contempt, and sheer confusion and frustration. Until I, at my wits end, felt led to The Respect Dare, but Nina Roesner. At first, I kicked, screamed, and threw stones at every lesson. As comical as that sounds to me now, it certainly was serious stuff then. As I went through the dare, I prayed for a softened and receptive heart, for opened eyes, and for a teachable spirit. He was faithful in all requests. I learned more than I ever thought I could- He moved my mountains by merely renewing my mind my truthful, healthy, balanced perspectives, peeling back layers of preconceived ideas, projections of hurtful wounds,and adjusting my attitude in the process. Truly a life and relationship changer for me, so much so, I revisited the course a few years later, as well as the sister course called Strength and Dignity. Many of the exact issues asked about are addressed. It is my hope and prayer that any and all wives experience the dare themselves, no matter the state of their marriage. <3 🙂

  2. April says:

    My husband is a good man. He works hard to provide for me and would die for me without hesitatation. I love him and never want to upset him.

    Which leaves me feeling awful because I’m struggling with resentment over something petty. His parents always ate the same meals every week.

    I refuse to spend the rest of my life eating the same 7 dinners but my husband will not even try new foods and seems frustrated with me cooking different things. We argue about this at least once a week and neither of us are willing to budge.

    What do we do?

    • Sherri says:

      I know only one couple that ate the same 7 meals every week, and that was my grandparents, my beloved grandfather of 82 had been married to my sweet grandma for over 60 years until he just passed this october. Toward the end, all he cared about wad her well being, that she was ok and had enough money. This man was selfless and loving and caring, and in the end only cared about her. He was confused about who some others were, but never her, and when she was out of the room, despite that he couldn’t walk anymore, he would fall out of bed to come find her. I miss this man that was surrounded by so many that loved him all his life because of the truly giving man he was. A wonderful tradeoff for a “boring” menu. However, I think perhaps you can agree maybe to give up one night a week to be a new good night? Or maybe just once or twice a month. Is it ok if you cook foods you would like to try that he doesn’t for lunch perhaps? I know it seems like you are giving too much on his side, but if he is a good man otherwise, treats you kind and loves you well, this is an awesome tradeoff as many women would love to be in that place. Another thing to consider is that one of the major tasks of being a homemaker is planning meals and shopping lists, I believe having this done already every week can be a time saver for you. Prayers, I hope you find peace on this and enjoy each other more than the food you cook. GOD BLESS!!

  3. Desperate for a Godly Marriage says:

    How about the man who doesn’t work to provide for his family, but insists on respects. A man that lays in bed for hours at a time on his phone while I work to pay the bills, keep the house clean, cook his meals, and tend to his young children for him when they’re here to see him. This same man will also spend hours reading through his bible or listening to messages delivered from God’s word. A good day is one where I display the fruits of the Spirit and give grace. When the issues are brought up I’m told I delivered the with selfishness, and days go by with the silent treatment, and somehow my words are twisted around so I’m apologizing to him in order to make amends between us and end the silent treatment. On a couple occasions he’s apologized for leaving the financial burdens on my shoulders, but nothing changes. Marriage counseling has been discussed, but as with many other things, never followed through on either because I’m not making enough to cover that and the bills, or because he’s uncomfortable talking to our church pastor, deacons or elders because it ope s the door to them knowing to much about him/us. I’m overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted, under pressure, sometimes angry, and truly trying to just trust God through this.

    • I know what your going through says:

      Read the book “boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend. This sounds like a co dependent relationship and one that is not healthy. I have recently started learning how to recognize healthy boundaries. We are are called to be godly wives, not godly doormats. Enough is enough. We face the repercussions of our actions right? What if he had to “suffer” (not that this is our intent to see our spouse suffer) the consequence of his actions and the lack of them? I’m not saying this is easy but it is right when we truly have the right heart. Dependence on God in this time by removing yourself from the effects of his actions is not not not easy. The word of god says “a man who does not work, does not eat”. Guard your heart, pray without ceasing and get good godly counsel and support for yourself. Bless you sister.

    • Sherri says:

      Prayers for you, this is tough, silent treatment is a form of manipulation/control, I recommend boundaries as well but also look into leslie vernick. Be gentle and kind, PRAY and trust God’s lead on this.

  4. Earlean Boston says:

    How does a wife deal with a controlling, jealous, manipulative, and angry husband. We have been together 23 years and he has changed very little. I’ve told him he needs to change, and I do to, but I don’t know how much longer I’m willing to deal with him being out of control. He can’t control himself, so he tries to control everything and everybody.

    • Whereas with most situations we recommend using kindness, your husband may require strength rather than kindness.

      In all actuality, you will be showing him kindness by showing him strength, but he may need to hear what you have already written. That is, you may need to draw what I call a line in the sand, yet without giving him an ultimatum. This usually requires a little coaching and much prayer, but it may be the direction in which you need to head.

      I may just write a post about this in the coming week as it is a needful topic. I will notify you when I post it.

      Thanks,

      Dr. Force
      http://www.Shop.HittingHomeMinistry.com

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Marriage and Relationship Coaching

Over the Phone
Call Us at 1-888-642-3036
Talk Now - Live 24/7 Help
How do Good Relationships Go Bad?
Receive Dr. Force's E-Course on Marriage

Enter Your Email to Receive Your E-Course

Order our Christian Marriage Book
How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another

 

  • Learn our 2-step Process to Solving Marriage Issues
  • Use for your next Bible study
  • A Biblical Yet Refreshing Approach

 

 

Available on Amazon

Available on Amazon

Opt In Image
Host one of Our Marriage Events
  • Find out How Your Church can Host one of our Marriage Events

Marriage and Relationship Coaching

Over the Phone
Call Us at 1-888-642-3036
Talk Now - Live 24/7 Help
Available on Amazon

Available on Amazon

Order our Christian Marriage Book
How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another

 

  • Learn our 2-step Process to Solving Marriage Issues
  • Use for your next Bible study
  • A Biblical Yet Refreshing Approach

 

 

Know the Top Mistake Men Make in a Fight?
Receive Dr. Force's E-Course on Marriage

Enter Your Email to Receive Your E-Course