Is love simply a mirage? Do feelings only belong on the television screen or in the romance novels? Are feelings in a relationship a type of bait so that the human race will continue to procreate? Of course, I believe the answer is in the negative to all of these questions, but let’s look at a few reasons as to why spouses lose feelings for each other. Here are a few reasons:
Many Fail to Continue the Behavior that Started the Feelings in the First Place
Behind many of the actions and endeavors of a man is a little mountain climber that is attempting to climb to a certain peak. Once he arrives, he tends to look for new mountain tops to climb.
Unfortunately, many men are inclined to work hard at climbing the mountain of marriage. However, once that peak is conquered, the temptation is to look for new heights in which to attain. These new mountain peaks are often in the form of jobs, career challenges, and hobbies.
Though I would never be against a man working hard at his job or enjoying a personal hobby or two, it is never acceptable to stop doing the things he did to climb the original mountain of marriage.
Fun Takes Work as You Get a Little Older
Fun just happens when you are younger, but it takes a little work the older you get. This does not mean that old age is a drab, it just is what it is.
Many husbands and wives are a little bewildered when this stage of life comes upon them. And, they tend to believe that they are falling out of love because they have to work a little harder at having fun in the relationship. However, the problem is usually not so much that they have fallen out of love as much as they are starting the process of growing old together.
Life is a Battle
Upon first meeting one another, couples only see the good, but not so much the bad and the ugly of one another as of yet. As they move forward in life together, they will come face to face with the reality of who they really are. And, to be honest, this is not always a pleasant sight.
Life is a battle, and husbands and wives will do well to see that they are two soldiers fighting side by side, yet hand in hand. As this war rages, they will be pressed out beyond measure, yet if they can fight together using Biblical weaponry and take heart in the fact that at the end of the day neither one has left the other’s side, this is the greatest manifestation of true love.
So for the couple that is slightly bewildered as to why spouses lose their feelings for each other, they will do well to recognize that life has a very practical side to it. And, if we do not allow that practical side to temper our unrealistic expectations about marriage and relationships, we will always be filled with some type of disappointment.
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Feelings are fleeting. If a marriage is based on feeling, it will struggle to survive.
God told us His idea of true love in 1 Corinthians 13. If we do these things then we have learned to love.