Happy wife, happy life. You may be surprised at the number of men that loathe this little statement. However, I would like to pull a little rank on some and speak from my experience as to why this statement is so vital.
Hitting Home has been helping couples since 2002. Since that time, we have ministered to literally thousands of couples, and it has been my observation that no man that has ever disliked this statement has had a good marriage.
Let me say that again. I have never found a man that carries a disdain for the phrase, “Happy wife, happy life.” that has had a good marriage. In every case, they either have an undertone of tension in their marriage or they are greatly disconnected from their wife.
At My Happiest
Christ set the example in the scriptures. Philippians 2 tells us that he became a humble servant for the sake of God’s glory and the good of the church. This submission to God’s expectations of Him to serve and sacrifice for the church paved the way to eternal exaltation.
In the same way, I have found that I feel the most manly and I endear the most respect from my wife when I take the path of self-sacrifice toward my wife. In fact, I have found no other way to achieve happiness in my marriage, and, consequently, my life without this order in place.
If you want to continue fighting against this principle, go ahead. However, let me fast-forward you through the process and advise you to do otherwise.
– Dr. Force
The word “joyful” is much more biblical and appropriate here. When my wife is joyful I have a joyful life. Her joy, however, is not merely a function of what I do but also the attitude she brings into the marriage and into life based on her spiritual walk with God.
“Happy Wife Happy Life” implies that her momentary moods of happiness will translate into a permanent happiness for me. This is not possible. It is also a recipe for the rat-on-a-treadmill effect where each attempt I make to make her happy results in diminishing returns. Choreplay buys sex one day. The next day it buys a pat on the back. The day after that it buys a day of no complaining. And after that it just becomes expected with no reward.
Buying her gifts gets sex one day. The next day it gets a smile. The day after that it gets a brief acknowledgment. After that, it is a complaint that the gift was not exactly what she wanted.
The saying also ignores the responsibilities wives have in cultivating their own capacity for happiness. Are they entitled princesses whose daddies gave them everything? Or are they women raised with modest means who are grateful for what you provide for them?
“Happy wife, Happy Life”
No man in a truly happy marriage dislikes the saying because most of them aren’t experiencing the frustration of trying to make someone happy who refuses to cooperate in the process.