Is There Hope For My Marriage?


You may have happened to stumble across our site with the thought in your mind, “Is there hope for my marriage?”. That being the case, I have a few words to say in regards to this question.


Divorce Is Not Necessarily The End


God is much bigger than a piece of paper filed in a divorce court. In fact, though I still encourage people to be realistic, it should be understood that I have seen a number of couples come out of divorce and enjoy a great marital relationship with each other. Does it happen all the time? Of course the answer would be no, but it should be said that it does happen.


Do Not Be Scared By The Ghosts


Husbands and wives having issues are very good about scaring each other with what I call ghosts. That is, they have a way of making the other person fearful that there is nothing more they can do to save the marriage or promote change.

It is very common when dealing with couples for me to say that I have more faith in their marriage than they do. This, once again, is due to the ghosts that couples send out to one another through the following ways:


Threats of divorce
Showing extreme coldness to the other
Exhibiting feelings of resentment
Talking as if the divorce is imminent
Little or no talk of the future together


90 Percent Of Success


I once heard that 90 percent of success is showing up. In relation to marriage, this is also an applicable thought.

I have seen some very difficult cases as a pastoral counselor and a life coach. But, even in some of the worst of cases, I have seen that a willingness to stick it out and keep showing up is very powerful.

Proverbs 28:20 tells us that a “faithful man shall abound with blessings”. Though staying in the game is never a full proof guarantee that all will be well in your marriage, I do believe that God teaches that faithfulness in a marriage is a necessary ingredient to securing His blessings.


If You Have Made It This Far


I realize that some of our readers have marriages that have suffered from adultery, heavy baggage from the past, excessive demonstrations of anger, et cetera. All that being said, it should be noted that if your marriage has made it this far, maybe your marriage is stronger than you realize. In other words, if you have not broken up by now, with a little learning and personal growth, there is probably very little that your marriage cannot overcome.

I heard someone once say that even the best of marriages have their struggles. That said, it is also important to ask the question, “If my marriage has made it this far, what is out there that we cannot face together?”


Closing Prayer


Lord, help all who are feeling, “Is there hope for my marriage?” to find their hope in You instead of their spouse. Give them the faith to look up and see that the sufferings of this world are but for a moment. And, they are but a light affliction (II Corinthians 4:17) in comparison to the glory that shall be revealed in those that have trusted Christ.

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Posted in Marriage Advice

4 comments on “Is There Hope For My Marriage?
  1. Kenneth may says:

    thanks so much. planning to meet and talk in a couple of days. have been using your suggestions.

  2. Kenneth may says:

    my wife and I are separated. for about two months now. she has moved all her belongings out. we have not had a real discussion about what we are going to do, other than some angry words for her initially. I do not want a divorce but we do have issues that must change how do I approach her or should I b patient and wait for her?

    • Kenneth,

      I would recommend that you break this stalemate by talking to her, however, approach her with a plan of action. I would include the following in the plan:

      1. Seek outside help so that you can learn how to avoid your issues in the future.

      2. Set a goal to get back together, but work on your friendship with her in the mean time. Possibly set up regular talking and meeting times.

      3. Take personal responsiblity for your actions when you speak to her, and be what I call self-focused. In other words, only relate to her the areas that you need to work on.

      Food for thought,

      Dr. Force

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