Intimacy after an Affair, How Soon, When


Intimacy after an affair


I am often asked when couples should attempt to enjoy intimacy after an affair. Here is my typical answer:

intimacy after an affair



Before considering intimacy after an affair the subject of STD’s should be addressed. Of course, I do not speak from a medical perspective, but common sense would dictate that the person that committed the affair should be tested before couples engage in sex after adultery.


How Soon Should Couples in Engage in Sex or Intimacy after an Affair


When counseling and coaching couples, I have found it best that couples go with the offended person’s level of comfortability.

Many ask me what is normal, and to that I must say that there are so many variables between situations that whatever you are going through should be considered the norm.

Be that as it may, some couples refrain from intimacy for a long period of time after an affair, yet others want to engage right away. I say leave this up to the person that is on the offended side.

The scriptures tell us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made in Psalm 139:14. Therefore, I cannot but help to believe that there are times when our level of comfortability and common sense can dictate what is right and appropriate. That is, though there are times when there may not be a specific chapter and verse available for our specific questions, God does allow us to make good judgments based on the peace that He has given us.

Romans 12:9 tells us that we are to cleave to that which is good yet abhor that which is evil. As one can see, the scriptures give us room to make good judgments based on our level of comfortability and common sense as long as those decisions are not in direct violation of His written will. Therefore, if you are feeling as if intimacy after an affair would be helpful to you as a spouse, then I encourage couples to proceed accordingly.

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