How to Improve Your Marriage
As you consider ways to improve your marriage, you should understand that marriages do not improve by themselves. In fact, it takes an amazing amount of emotional and spiritual elbow grease to keep a marriage on track.
A Downhill Slide
I am a firm believer that if you let life happen, life has a way of running you over. In fact, Matthew Henry said, “The way of sin is always downhill.” I like to put it like this:
There is no such position as neutral in the Christian life because sin and selfishness are like gravity in that they are always working against us. Therefore, we are either moving up or going down, and moving up always requires swimming against the stream of what comes natural to us.
Improving Your Marriage will Stretch Your Thinking
If I could place what the average person knows about life, marriage, and God in a thimble and then place that thimble in an ocean, the ocean surrounding that thimble would represent all that there is to know about God, life, and what makes relationships successful.
I say this because the answer to solving life’s problems on how to improve your marriage typically defy logic and go against the grain of what our natural emotions are leading us to do. It should also be pointed out that the knowledge that most people need to succeed with God and their marriages is outside of their current realm of understanding.
A Quick Question
On a daily basis, our Christian marriage resource center receives calls and emails from people all across the globe. I am often asked if someone can just ask me a quick question. The problem is that there is no such thing as a quick answer to these questions as, almost 100% of the time, the answers people need defy their logic and cause the need for 10 more questions to be asked,
Through our coaching sessions and Christian-based resources, we have set out to find the wisdom that we lost a few generations ago regarding marriage and relationships. We have worked very hard at saying a few old things, yet in a new way that truly “Hits Home”.
In 2002, I started conducting Christian marriage conferences in various churches in PA, Florida, Alabama, Ohio, Virginia, et cetera. My wife and I also had a television show in Pennsylvania for about three and a half years called Hitting Home.
From day one, we started to receive phone calls, emails, and requests for counseling from people in need that were looking for Christian-based answers on how to improve their marriage.
Since that time, we have been able to sharpen, refine, and then refine again our message and Christian-based marriage materials. We have placed the end product of our findings in our new marriage book and our audio material called How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another.
The First 6 to 10 Coaching Sessions
We receive calls on a daily basis from couples in need that are not able to pay for marriage counseling. For these couples, we would recommend that they check out our book as most of the coaching and counseling that a couple would receive from me in the first 6 to 10 sessions is covered in our marriage book. Honestly, if spouses will simply read the book and apply everything that is written, I find that their marriage will drastically improve.
When Trying to Improve Your Marriage
When aspiring to improve your marriage, I would recommend that you take the following steps:
In every situation where I help couples in need, it is vital that each person be willing to change their attitude and approach to the marriage. Each participant will do well to focus on their faults alone rather than the faults of the other. In fact, in my experience as a marriage counselor and coach, husbands and wives that “make it” are always willing to deal with their own faults first rather than the faults of the other.
Be open to learn what you never knew existed
Some have said, “You do not know what you do not know.” And, when it comes to improving a marriage, there is much to be learned that many, if not most, have not previously considered to be true.
After couples hear our teaching on the Bridge, The Top Mistake Couples Make in a Fight, the real Purpose of Marriage, and the Opposite Exercise, it is very common to hear people say, “I have not considered that before.” When this occurs, I feel as if I have, in some small way, done my job.
Be sure to check out our book on marriage and our audio material. Be especially carefully to pay attention to our teaching called the Top Mistake Couples Make in a Fight. It is saving marriages on a weekly basis, and it explains why even many Christian couples fail to see eye to eye.