Generally speaking, when it comes to physical intimacy, women seem to have this on and off switch that can be in the on position one day, but in the off position on another. For men, it seems to be a little different as their switch tends to be stuck in the on position.
On the other hand, when it comes to emotional intimacy, once a woman’s emotional switch is in the off position, it can take a very long time for it to move in the other direction, and men will loathe the time it takes for that to change.
To be totally honest, some men in our audience should give me their ear. That is, they are not picking up on the tremors that may one day turn into a full blown emotional earthquake. The warning signs on the dash have been messaging for years, and they may be in shock the day their wife’s emotional engine blows.
The Average Age Of My Clients
There is a reason why the average age of my coaching clients and our conference attendees is between 35 and 45. This is mostly because, around the age of 35 or so, women lose their elasticity and they stop bouncing back from the difficulties that life and marriage throw their way.
For some men in our audience, I would like to encourage you to take heed to the tremors before they turn into a full blown emotional earthquake. If you fail to take action now and spend more time listening to Dr. Ego instead of good sound advice, you will find the following: once your wife’s emotional switch is in the off position, it will take much longer than you desire for it to switch back.
When men change, they tend to change right away. Women, however, typically take what can seem like a very slow 180 degree turn.
When a woman shuts down emotionally, time will be her friend, but it will feel like a man’s enemy. He will resent the longevity of the process while the woman will feel secure in it.
Don’t be one of those men that wait to read a marriage book, attend a conference, or take decisive action after the wife has shut down. Listen now. Say goodbye to Dr. Ego and humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up in due time. (James 4:10)
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This is Not a loss of elasticity. I would say, from personal experience, that it is a level of maturity in which the wife realizes it is not healthy or God honoring to enable dysfunction or abuse. The decision to stand up for themselves and call their husbands out for their mistreatment has nothing to do with a loss of elasticity.
I know comments in opposition to the article are often not received to have any value but I’m going to post one in case it is received for the value it is.
I think the quote to follow is a detour from solutions. I think it is placing blame on maturity and wisdom of women under the erroneous blame of women having a challenge as they age.
With age comes maturity and self respect in a way that often does not exist prior to this 35-45 year old range.
Women aren’t losing the ability to adjust quickly after a problem and bounce back, they ARE seeking solutions rather than ignoring a route to improving. Rather than accept and tolerate the continuing problem, they seek a solution.
This might be WHY you have the AVERAGE AGE OF YOUR CLIENTS in this age range.
That quote –
“There is a reason why the average age of my coaching clients and our conference attendees is between 35 and 45. This is mostly because, around the age of 35 or so, women lose their elasticity and they stop bouncing back from the difficulties that life and marriage throw their way.”
Women don’t have a problem, they haven’t lost something, they have gained beneficial maturity and are seeking solutions.
I agree 100%!
I’m tired of the old, and ready for real change. It’s a big, ugly cycle that I want out of. Not out of the marriage; but the cycle. There HAS to be a better way!