I can’t take it anymore. As a pastor and a relationship coach that deals with conflict resolution on a daily basis, I have noticed that texting, emailing, and messaging people during an argument is horribly detrimental. This is why I often counsel and coach couples to stop texting and arguing.
Just a Few Reasons
Here are a few reasons as to why I recommend either face to face conversation, communication over the phone, or writing a hand written letter to someone when discussing heavy issues:
Tone is Not Conveyed in a Text or an Email
Tone of voice is 90 percent of communication. Therefore, the problem with texts and emails is that even if you have a spirit of grace behind your words, that spirit is seldom conveyed in the black and white letters people see on the screen.
I can’t tell you the amount of times others have sent me a text that I have misunderstood because I could not hear or feel the tone in which it was said.
If You Can’t Say it to Their Face
Honestly, we have a society full of cowards that are afraid to express their real feelings and thoughts to others face to face. The problem with texting is that it is unbelievably easy to text something that you would seldom say to a person’s face.
My rule of thumb is this: if I will not say it to your face, I will never say it at all.
To be frank, most people are little people in big people’s bodies, and the need for most is to grow up and act like adults. Stop the backbiting, bantering, and the belittling in cowardice ways. Stay functional, loving, and in a problem solving mode as you speak to people face to face.