Is It Always Wrong To Be Jealous?

Almost every time we hear the word jealous, it is in a negative context. However, in relation to marriage, I am not so sure that every jealous spouse is in the wrong.

God is Jealous

The scriptures teach that God is Jealous in Exodus 34:14. Simply put, it means that the Lord is explicitly concerned with anything or anyone that would compete with our love relationship with Him.

Usually, when we think of the word jealous, we think of someone that is insecure or overly possessive. Our thoughts are of someone that is full of fear and paranoia. All that being said, I do not see God as full of fear and insecurity as much as he despises that which would eventually do us harm.

I often say that it is impossible to love flowers without hating weeds. It is equally impossible to love someone without a desire to protect them and your relationship with them from serious harm.

As a pastoral care counselor and a life coach, I often hear people say things as such:

He is so jealous

I just think they are a jealous spouse

He is so possessive

She’s overly protective.

Though it is definitely true that many a jealous spouse feels that way because of their insecurities, it should also be noted that not all jealousy is bad. It could be that a spouse greatly appreciates the flower of their relationship, and they are concerned about potential weeds that could destroy it.

Weeds that Destroy a Marital or Premarital Relationship

Possible weeds that could destroy relationships are as such:

Flirtatious behavior

Over the top communication with members of the opposite sex that should only be shared between spouses

Overly friendly members of the other gender that cross lines of appropriateness

Touchy-feely members of the opposite sex

All in all, though some spouses have feelings of jealousy that are motivated by their own insecurities, not all jealousy is bad. Sometimes, a jealous spirit can be a sign that one truly loves their spouse and the blessings that come with emotional as well as physical monogamy.