What should a wife do with an embarrassing husband that is too loud, obnoxious, inappropriate in social settings, cutting, or just rude in front of others. Though the cross can be a heavy one to bear, I hope this little bit of marriage advice will help.
He is not You
First off, it should be understood that other people know the difference between you and your husband. Though you may feel as if others are criticizing you in their minds, you are probably slightly misguided in that they understand that he is acting under his own volition. If anything, others probably see exactly what you see, and they understand your plight.
He is not a Reflection of You
Though in a perfect world couples should stick together in purpose and unity, it is helpful in these situation to know that your husband is not necessarily a reflection of you. It is also helpful to know that people know that. Therefore, you do not need to try to recover his reputation, make excuses, or hide out from being seen with him.
Count Your Blessings, Your Cross May Not be as Heavy as Others
If your husband is a little loud, out of touch with other’s feelings, or a social invalid, then you may need to count your blessings. That is, be thankful he is not a drug addict, money launderer, an adulterer, or a jail bird.
In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, Paul said, “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” Joy typically comes in life when we learn to make the best of the life we have rather than the life we want. In fact, it was Spurgeon that said, “To whom enough is never plenty, plenty will never be enough.”
Validate Him as a Man
Many times, people act in embarrassing ways because they are seeking the love and attention they missed as a child. Instead of ridiculing an embarrassing husband, you may find it more beneficial to wield what I call the sword of thankfulness and praise. In fact, the more you push an embarrassing husband down, you will find that he will probably act in even more embarrassing ways to either spite you or gain a little more attention.
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I wish he was this simple but my husband is the addict,gambler, and adulterer. He argues with people to the point of verbal aggression cursing that I’m afraid will lead to an altercation. Yes,he’s not a Christian and that’s another issue.
Wow, you are reading my mail! I often feel like I need to clean up his social mess. A situation happened yesterday though, where I would have avoided confronting someone out of embarrassment from what hubby did. But I did, realizing it was him, not me. I do fight the feeling that others are thinking “Why do you put up with that?” But, maybe their not even thinking it..
Very encouraging article! I do have a lot to be thankful for. 🙂
Great. We will pray for you and your situation.