Because Someone Has to Say It


I am increasingly mesmerized at the amount of Christians that have a light view of the marriage covenant. Instead of till death do them part, it’s as if they vowed, “as long as I am happy”, “till we grow weary of one another”, or “as long as my expectations are met”.

Honestly, I really believe that even with people that call themselves Christians, the true God of many marriages today is happiness rather than the God of the Bible. Keep in mind, what guides you is your real God or shall I say god.


It’s Happened Before


One of the reasons the Bible was preserved for us was so that we could see how other people groups erred and learn from their mistakes. I Corinthians 11:31 tells us that “if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged”. In other words, the Bible was given to us so that we could compare our lives to the scriptures and avoid needless hardships as well as the judgement or chastisement of God in our lives.

because someone has to say it

In Malachi 2:13-15, the scriptures speak of a people that were bewildered because their prayers seemed to go unanswered. God told them that they were not experiencing His care and favor because they had violated the marriage covenant.

Malachi teaches:


“And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.

Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.”


Simply put, we cannot expect God’s favor in our lives if we are bent on violating the marriage covenant. In fact, even I Peter 3:7 teaches that if a man will not honor his wife, his very prayers will be hindered.


Legalized Adultery


Jesus was very explicit in Matthew 5:31-32 that divorce and remarriage pushes people into what God views to be adultery. In Jesus’ sermon on the mount, He said:


“It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:


But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”


Jesus was teaching that a light view of marriage leads to the heavy sin of adultery, and He was also conveying that just because divorce is legal in man’s eyes, it does not condone it in God’s.

In my marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another, I make this remark:


“The only differences between outright adultery and a number of our divorce and remarriage situations are time and a piece of paper filed in divorce court.”


Kind of runs upstream from our light-hearted approach to God today, doesn’t it? However, keep in mind that though we have conjured up this church culture that presents God as being a really nice down to earth grandpa that has an understanding heart at every turn, God still takes Himself very seriously.


Looking Forward


My emphasis today is in the present rather than the past. In other words, the purpose of this challenge is not for you to try and undo what has been done as much as to solidify your beliefs in the present.

Marriage, in its original intent, was designed to be a lifelong institution. And, just because the world has changed its direction does not mean God’s Word will adapt.

The Word is settled forever in Heaven (Psalm 119:89), but this world’s ways are temporary and futile. I choose to side with God and His Word. How about you?

Dr. Force

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