If as a husband you feel like you are always dealing with an upset wife, you may need to consider your role in the matter. This is one of my favorite little illustrations to use for husband learning to help their constantly upset wife.
Withdrawals and Deposits
A woman is like a bank account in that a man can only withdraw what is first being deposited through unconditional love and kindness.
If any of us withdraw more than we deposit at a real banking institution, we will soon receive a statement from the bank telling us of our error. The same is true in marriage, yet I have found that the banks are usually a lot nicer in the way that they give their statements than many women are.
When a man sees that his wife is delivering negative statements, he has three similar choices to that of the gardener. He can either change banks (this is not scriptural), argue with the statements and deny their veracity, or he can start making the appropriate deposits.
A man will find it a far better option to start making reasonable deposits by loving and serving his upset wife. Other approaches have been tried, but all have failed.
- Learn about our proven, 2-step process
- Designed as a couples devotional
- Use in a group study
- A biblical and refreshing approach
My husband & I have been married 10 years. I’ve always been more on the aggressive side & him more passive. But over the past few years I have learned to pick my battles instead of always having to be right or prove a point. The past 6 months my husband has become passive aggressive & its ruining our marriage. If I can’t do anything else, I can definitely realize my flaws & faults, admit & work on them. But he is never wrong, he doesn’t realize he’s being 110% passive aggressive & I don’t know how to handle even the smallest of an issue because it turns into something way bigger than it should. And of course he Denys any possiblity of him being wrong, turns everything to my fault. I love him & want my husband back. How do I address the passive/aggressive behavior w/out it turning out biting me in the butt…???
I’ve been accused of being passive aggressive when I actually just get tired of arguing and saying the same things and the situation going nowhere or getting worse. Sometimes men will just shut up and withdraw because they do not feel heard. Denying any possibility of being wrong is not ok but in many cases I have found it hard to do so in front of an arrogant or gloating person. Not saying that you are doing that but in general, it’s hard to admit wrong when someone is breathing down your throat and attacking you.
Sorry you are going through a difficult situation. I will pray for you today.
Dr. Force
Everything I’ve read on this site automatically assumes any and all problems are the directions fault of men. Too bad you choose not to see the other side of s situation; the wife simply being always confused, bitter, hysterical, unreasonable, shall I continue?
The underlying problem with your comment is the phrase:
“Everything I’ve read ”
You must not have read the following articles:
https://hittinghomeministry.com/is-it-always-the-mans-fault-in-a-marriage/
https://hittinghomeministry.com/biblical-roles-in-marriage/
https://hittinghomeministry.com/what-does-it-mean-for-the-wife-to-submit-to-her-husband/
Thank you,
Dr. Force
A, he’s right. The good Dr does say many things to women also. I’ve felt the bias on many of his articles and have commented thus but he does address both if you read enough of his work. There’s a lot of good stuff here. From one husband to another, be encouraged!