It is one thing to have a bad problem. It is another to come up with a bad solution to that problem. Unfortunately, this is what is occurring as singles see marrieds struggle.
Many singles are developing a disdain for the institution of marriage while others are vowing to stay away from marriage altogether. Of course, if that is one’s choice, then so be it. But, if a single man or woman cannot do that without staying celibate, then I believe they will find themselves in a dangerous position both practically and spiritually. I Corinthians 6:13-18
Some singles see married people struggle and fail to see the beauty in the struggle. That is, after only seeing the surface ugliness they often fail to look a little longer and see the backdrop of beauty that is very present.
Why Marriage Gets A Bad Rap
Marriage is a constant push and pull between a man and a woman. However, this is where marriage tends to get a bad rap as every relationship presents its difficulties. It is just that married people cannot really fire each other like other paradigms allow. In other words, the constancy of the relationship blows up the struggle that is in every relationship.
Marriage reveals ourselves to the core. To be frank, what we do not like about marriage is not the institution of marriage, but ourselves. Marriage does not put marriage on display, but who we really are. The problem, therefore, does not lie with marriage, but with ourselves. We discuss this in detail of chapter 1 of our marriage book.
Lately, in our marriage conferences and classes, I have been taking the time to compare single love to marital love. I have been asking couples which they would rather have. I ask if they would rather have someone that is only around when good feelings flow or would they rather have someone that is willing to love them and stay present even after both have seen each other at their worst. I choose the latter.
Some would call this sophistry. Others boring. I call it true love, and it outlasts, outshines, and out performs the love I thought was true when I was but a child.
Grow up. Learn to love true love and your marriage and your life will be all the better for it.
Healthy Individuals Make A Healthy Marriage
In chapter one of our marriage book, we discuss the importance of understanding that healthy individuals make up a healthy marriage. Find out more about our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting With One Another, at our online resource center.