Relationship Counseling Advice for Pre marriage Relationships
Having worked with a multitude of singles and pre married couples as a pastor, life coach, and relationship counselor, I have come up with a list of do’s and dont’s for couples in a premarital relationship. Here’s a little relationship counseling advice that should serve to save you or someone you know from traveling down the very bumpy road of dysfunctional dating.
If you are not married, you do not own one another
Couples in a dating or courtship scenario often try to act like they owe their entire allegiance to one another. Whether it be their time, their devotion, or even their money, they sometimes try to act like married people before the wedding day.
This is always a mistake as the purpose of a pre marriage relationship is to test the relationship in the areas of character and compatibility, yet with the option to leave the relationship at any time.
This is one of the reasons as to why premarital intimacy or sex should be off limits before marriage. Once this occurs, it will be difficult for at least one or both participants not to feel as if they owe their all to one another.
You can live without the other person
Contrary to movies and love songs, only God is to be your all in all. Your boyfriend, girlfriend, or significant other should never hold that place in your life (I Corinthians 15:28).
Happy singles make happy married people. If you cannot live without a particular man/woman, you have not only made an idol out of that person, but you will also fail to be happy once you have landed them.
Mark it down! If you cannot live without someone, you will find it difficult to live with them. This is because you will lack the foundation needed to love them without any strings attached to your own insecurities.
At this juncture, the gainsaying spirit in some will say, “Well, what about married people? Would you want to live without your spouse?”. If this is your opinion, your youth is showing itself as once you are married you become one flesh, and, undoubtedly, when separation or divorce occurs in marriage, a part of each person starts to die. However, before marriage, both should be able to walk away from a pre marriage relationship without this death taking place.
Keep people around you
Unfortunately, one of the more difficult tasks of offering relationship counseling to dating couples today is keeping them in a holy and pure state before marriage.
Honestly, we can give a lot of advice in this area, but one of the keys to staying pure before marriage is to keep people around you.
I am 41 years of age, I love God, and I have a great relationship with my wife. Yet, I will not put myself in a situation where I am alone with another woman. That being the case, what about two 20 year olds that have hormones that are raging and are madly in love with one another. To put them in a position where they are alone and accountable is absolutely crazy. Something bad will happen unless they keep people around themselves.