Christian Marriage Advice versus Secular Marriage Advice
I will be the first to admit that God’s laws are universal laws. Therefore, even if a counselor or a therapist is not quoting scripture, some of their teachings may already be found in principle in the scriptures. Regardless, I still feel that Christian marriage advice is always the best option for the following reasons:
Christ is the source of all wisdom and knowledge.
According to Colossians 2:3, Christ is the ultimate source for wisdom and knowledge. In fact, the passage says:
“In whom [speaking of Christ] are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.”
Someone once said that the farther away from the mouth of the spring that you travel, the murkier the water becomes. This is also true with matters dealing with marriage, parenting, and the home. That is, the farther away from the source of knowledge that we move, the more unclear and obscure the advice will become.
Secular advice on marriage views the happiness of man as the primary purpose for marriage.
Marriage is for God. In fact, my first chapter of our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another, goes into great detail as to the importance of this factor.
Though some may think this is a small issue, we must understand that if a person’s happiness is all that keeps them in the marriage, they will be more prone to leave a marriage when feeling down. However, when God’s glory is the primary reason as to why they married, their level of endurance during the difficult times will be at a greater, even when feeling down or discouraged.
Secular advice compared to Christian marriage advice leaves no clear standard.
I am very thankful that my wife and I are dedicated believers. Because we both view the scriptures as our primary authority and guide, we are able to fast forward through certain discussions be referring to the scriptures.
If you fail to have the scriptures as your main authority, you will find that the only real standard in your marriage is how each person feels. In my estimation, that is an extremely weak and volatile standard to follow.
Marriage must be approached from an eternal perspective.
If a person feels that this seventy year period that we call life is the only time that we have to find enjoyment, then they will be more prone to dump a bad marriage. In their mind, if the marriage is bad, they should probably jump ship as soon as possible so as to have time to remarry.
However, if a person realizes that this life is simply a dress rehearsal for the real show, everything changes. That is, they will be more willing to endure difficulties in a less than perfect marriage knowing that God will reward them in eternity for their obedience to their marriage vows.