Blog Archives

What’s Wrong With Trying To Change Your Spouse?

It is very interesting to see the type of statements and thoughts that pass as normal and acceptable thinking that are not only unbiblical, but, if I may, absolutely absurd. One of those thoughts is often voiced in any of the following ways:

 

I am looking for someone that won’t try to change me.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


5 Stones, But With The Wrong Sling

 

I can secure the finest black powder and the best cannon balls, but if the angle of the cannon is off, then I should never expect to hit my target.

Why is it that a number of spouses have made what they feel are all the right changes,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


I Feel Your Pain

 

For the first time in my life, I believe I can honestly say, “I feel your pain.”

Many of our readers are already aware that this last year we lost our 12 year old daughter, Grace Evangeline, in an automobile accident. Though we have been surrounded by His Presence and care over the last 7 months,

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Posted in Dr. Raymond Force's Musings, Marriage Advice


Be Your Way Out Of Your Marriage Problems

Everyone wants to know what to do in order to move forward in their relationships, but few seem to realize that even the best attempts at doing something different still miss the mark.

The ultimate goal in solving marriage issues or refining a pre marriage relationship should never be to do more as much as it should be to be what God would have you to be.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


You Are Not An Impatient Spouse

 

You may think that you are just an impatient spouse. However, it could be that impatience is only a secondary issue. Your real problem may lie in other areas.

 

A Futile Approach

 

Many feel that the answer for their marriage problems is to just work harder at showing more patience.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Just One Chance to Make a Difference

 

Last week, we were coming back from ministering at a family conference in Wisconsin and I met a young man that was soon to be married. In fact, he was a young Christian man that is about three weeks away from marriage.

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After the meal,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How to Make a Man Want to Pull His Hair Out

Some women learn from an early age that though they may not be able to overpower the men in their lives, they can use emotional manipulation as a wrestling move of sorts to get their way. As a father of seven with four girls, I have seen this first hand.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How to Simplify the Marriage Problem-Solving Process

 

Faith in God is obeying Him and leaving all the consequences to Him. This is why Proverbs 3:6 teaches:

 

“In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

 

Our primary concern is never to be a specific result as much as our obedience to our Heavenly Father.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


A Woman Really Wants What She Doesn’t Want

If a man only works at providing an atmosphere of love and safety in his marriage, he will fall short of fulfilling his role as a husband. Though love and safety are vital, a man also needs to add a little danger to the mix in order to complete the romantic puzzle.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Because Someone Has to Say It

 

I am increasingly mesmerized at the amount of Christians that have a light view of the marriage covenant. Instead of till death do them part, it’s as if they vowed, “as long as I am happy”, “till we grow weary of one another”, or “as long as my expectations are met”.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Are You a Conditional Lover?

 

The tendency to love conditionally seems to run through our bloodstream. I see this as I pastor, counsel, deal with children, conduct business, and manage my own emotions.

Let’s face it, we are conditional lovers by nature. Maybe this is why God described mankind in the following way in Romans 3:17:

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Where Men Blow It

A woman is often asking her husband for the same treatment he wants from Christ. However, men sometimes prove to be hypocritical in that they expect from Christ what they are unwilling to provide for their wives.

Here are a few areas where I find that men show this subtle form of hypocrisy:

where men blow it
 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Unsettled Hearts Lead to Unsettled Relationships

 

A Heart-Sick People

 

As Americans, we are not a very settled people. In fact, we are probably the most depressed and dissatisfied generation that America has ever produced.

Here are a few reasons why we seem to have almost an epidemic on our hands of people that are heart sick with feelings of anxiousness,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How Dysfunctional People Make You Feel Dysfunctional

 

Dysfunctional People Make You Feel Dysfunctional

 

Dysfunctional people have a way of turning the tables on others. That is, they find a way to make those around them feel like they are the problem, when, in reality, their turbulent heart is the source of turbulence in their lives.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Great Lovers or Great Fighters?

My wife and I are not so much great lovers, but good fighters. However, our fight is not with one another as much as it is against the evils of society and our world.

If a couple’s only goals involve securing a good retirement, purchasing things, mere survival,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How the Bible Helps My Marriage

 

Here’s How the Bible Helps My Marriage

 

The older I get and the longer I teach the Bible, the bolder I become in teaching that the Bible is the best and only standard for couples to follow. Here is a short-list of reasons why I believe this to be the case.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Obey Your Way Through Your Marriage Problems

 

This Last Sunday

 

This last Sunday, I taught out of the book of Kings and Chronicles. The entire sermon was based on one principle: When Israel’s kings obeyed God, they were blessed by God. When they walked in disobedience to God, their tenures were plagued with treachery and trouble.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


New Year, New Approach to Marriage

 

Less Effort, More Wisdom

 

Ecclesiastes 10:10 tells us that sharpening an ax is a much better way to improve the cutting process than simply swinging a little harder.

In the same way, many of you have worked ever so hard in the last year on your marriage only to come up a little shorter than a year ago.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Some Things Marriage Counselors and Pastors Are Afraid to Say

 

Some Things Marriage Counselors and Pastors Are Afraid to Say

 

There are some things that just need to be said from time to time but those that work with couples may be afraid to say it. Here are a few points that are difficult to articulate in our current culture yet still need to be said.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The Mature or Not So Mature Spouse

 

Are You a Mature or Not So Mature Spouse?

 

Most of my coaching involves encouraging people to do what their parents should have taught them growing up. Whether the need is to exhibit more self control, show contentment, be thankful, or to love unconditionally,

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Posted in Issues Relating to Husbands, Marriage Advice


Marriage Evangelism – A Copy for You and a Friend in Need

 

Marriage Evangelism

 

I have been told that 3 out of 4 couples that visit church for the first time make that decision because they are having problems in their marriage. That said, this is one of the reasons why I say that all of our counseling and coaching on marriage falls underneath two categories: evangelism or discipleship.

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Posted in Dr. Raymond Force's Musings, Marriage Advice


Who’s in Charge of Your Marriage?

 

Who or What is in Charge of Your Marriage?

 

When men fail to love their wives because of what they perceive to be a lack of responsiveness, they are allowing themselves to be controlled by the behavior of their wives. In fact, I find that these two things are occurring when this transpires:

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


When You are the Only One Working on the Marriage

 

When You are the Only One Working on the Marriage

 

I often receive the question, “Is there hope for my marriage even if I am the only one working on the marriage?” Let me take a few moments to provide some help for those that feel they are a lone ranger of sorts in their marriage.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How to Survive a Loveless Marriage

 

How to Survive in a Loveless Marriage

 

It seems to be common to hear people tell me that they feel they are in a loveless marriage. Some wonder how long their time of waiting will last while others feel they are often at their breaking point.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Have You Given Up On Your Marriage, Faith in God

 

Have You Given Up on Your Marriage?

 

It is common for people to say, “Once he/she wants to change, then they can receive help.” But, what about the spouse or couple that is so destitute of hope that they said goodbye to desire a long time ago?

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The Ultimate Answer for Marriage Problems

 

The Ultimate Answer for Marriage Problems

 

I have never seen two truly spiritually healthy people with a bad marriage. What can we learn from this? What does this say about the ultimate answer for our marriage problems today? Below are a few thoughts that should help us in this matter.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Marriage and Money, Help for Christian Couples

 

Money and Marriage

 

There are three things couples argue about the most: money, physical intimacy, and children. Though there are other matters that sometimes come into play, these three areas seem to come up the most when couples air their dirty laundry to me.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The Stonewalling Spouse and How it Hurts a Marriage

 

Stonewalling – How it Hurts a Marriage

 

Whether you are on the giving or the receiving end of stonewalling, it is, nonetheless, harmful to a relationship. Let me share with you a few thoughts about what stonewalling is and how to better deal with it.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How Old Do You Act in Your Marriage, Emotionally Stuck

 

How Old Do You Act When Conflict Arises in Your Marriage?

 

Let’s get to the point in this article: when conflict arises between you and your spouse, how old do you act?

I did not ask when were you born, how much you know,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How to Reach a Hard-Hearted Spouse, Distant, Wayward

 

How to Reach a Hard-Hearted Spouse

 

When dealing with difficult marital situations, I often say that it is good to remember that we are not able to do more than God. However, I hope to give a little advice in this article to those trying ever so hard to reach that hard-hearted spouse.

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Posted in Marriage Advice, Uncategorized


What is a Christian Marriage?

 

What is a Christian Marriage?

 

Do you have a Christian marriage? Have questions such as, “What is a Christian marriage?” Let’s take a look at what really makes a Christian marriage.

 
what is a christian marriage
 

A Little Test

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The Unhappy Christian Marriage

 

Over the years, I have met a number of people that name the name of Christ yet tell me that they feel they have an unhappy Christian marriage. Let me offer a few possibilities as to why this may occur from time to time.

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Are You a Reactionary Spouse?, Proverbs 16:2, I Peter 3:11, Jeremiah 17:9

 

Are You a Reactionary Spouse?

 

How do you handle your marriage or pre marriage problems? Are you simply reactionary or are you what I call a life-long learner?

 
reactionary spouses
 

The Negative Consequences of Being Reactionary

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice, Personal Growth


Why the Biblical Model for Marriage is the Best Model?

 

Why the Biblical Model for Marriage is the Best Model

 

Why is the Biblical model for marriage the best model? Why are God’s teachings on the husband and wife relationship far superior to those that would contradict His Word? Here are a few points to consider that should strengthen our faith in the Bible.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


What Does it Mean for the Wife to Submit to Her Husband?

 

Exactly What Does it Mean for the Wife to Submit to Her Husband

 
what does it mean for the wife to submit to her husband
 

The last few weeks at our church, I have been teaching from Titus 2, Ephesians 5:22-24, and Colossians 3:18-19. These verses teach the following:

Ephesians 5:22-24

 

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Posted in Advice for Women, Marriage Advice


Are You Working on a Marriage or Managing Your Marriage?, Women’s Issues

 

Managing a Marriage or Pre Marriage Relationship

 

I do not find that women manage relationships very well. Though there are a number of reasons why this may be the case, I find that if a woman finds herself in a scenario where she is managing a man,

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Posted in Advice for Women, Marriage Advice


The 6 Paradoxes of Marriage for Men

 

Marriage presents a number of interesting paradoxes for men, and, their ability to maneuver through these paradoxes and come out smiling will, many times, determine the success of their marriage.

Though I certainly am not one to put 100 percent of the responsibility on the man,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Colossians 3 – What Does it Say about Marriage?

 

What We Can Learn From Colossians 3:13-19 about Marriage

 

Colossians 3:13-19 is a great passage of scripture dealing with marriage as well as other areas. Though I have written about verses 18 and 19 in other articles, I would like to convey an all-important lesson from verse 14 as it relates to marriage.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How to Have a Happy Marriage

 

Help on How to Have a Happy Marriage

 

My wife and I do not have a happy marriage because we have one another. We have a great marriage because we are happy and fulfilled before we even see one another. The love and happiness we share is out of the overflow of what God is already doing in our lives.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


What Does it Mean for the Husband to be the Head of the Home?

 

So What Does it Mean for the Husband to be the Head of the Home?

 

There is probably not a more in-politically correct teaching in the Bible than that of Ephesians 5:22-25. However, much of the consternation surrounding teachings as such flow from a misunderstanding of God’s view on the husband being the head of the house.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Signs of a Dysfunctional Marriage or Pre Marriage Relationship

 

Here are a few signs of a dysfunctional marriage or pre marriage relationship that should help you to assess the state of your relationship with your spouse or significant other.

 

Dysfunctional Behavior is No Longer Shocking

 

Dysfunctional marriages and relationships have a way of desensitizing each participant to its negative aspects.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


What to do When Children are Causing Marriage Problems

 

Feeling as if Your Children are Causing Marriage Problems?

 

There are three things couples argue about the most; money, sex, and children. Here is more Christian-based help for those feeling that their children are causing marriage problems.

 

Your Children are Not the Issue

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Signs of a Controlling Spouse, Romans 12:18

 

A Few Signs of a Controlling Spouse

 

Are you a controlling spouse? Are you possibly married to a controlling spouse? Here are a few signs of a controlling signs that should help you to understand if you are, indeed, married to a controlling spouse or guilty of such behavior.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Would God want me to Stay in a Bad Marriage?

 

I Often Hear People Ask, “Would God want me to Stay in a Bad Marriage?”

 

Of course, I will not be able to solve every marriage problem with this article, but I hope to be able to shed a little more light on the matter for those wondering,

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Posted in Marriage Advice


How to be a Better Husband or Wife

 

Advice on How to be a Better Husband or Wife

 

People often come to me to learn how to be a better husband or wife. During that process, they will either ask questions or make statements as such:

 

“How can I be a better husband or wife?”

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The Unhappy Christian Wife

 

Are you an Unhappy Christian Wife?

 

There seems to be a growing epidemic of Christian wives that are striving so hard to meet a Christian standard in their home that they fail to meet one of the most important standards of all, joy.

Romans 14:17 teaches:

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Why Marriage is Hard

 

Why Marriage is Hard

 

I am a firm believer that if you let life happen, life has a way of running you over. In fact, Matthew Henry said, “The way of sin is always downhill.” I like to put it like this:

why marriage is hard

There is no such position as neutral in the Christan life because sin and selfishness are like gravity.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


The Need for Simplified Marriage Counseling, The Heart, Proverbs 4:23

 

The Need for Simplified Marriage Counseling

 

The average couple that comes to me for marriage help knows more counseling terms than I do. As they describe their plight, they often relate their abandonment issues, the narcissistic tendencies of their spouse, and their list of diagnoses from other counselors.

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Will the Wife Always be Happy if the Husband Loves Her? – Ephesians 5:25-28

 

Will the wife always by happy if a husband loves her as Christ loved the Church?

 

There is a popular teaching in the body of Christ today dealing with marriage that is sometimes misused or over generalized. It goes something like this:

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


Peace in Marriage, James 4:1-2

 

Peace Without is Best Secured when both have Peace Within

 

James 4:1-2 shows us that people war without as a result of a lack of peace within, and I have found that this is especially true in marriage.

 

James 4:1-2

 

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Posted in Marriage Advice


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Marriage and Relationship Coaching

Over the Phone
Call Us at 1-888-642-3036
Talk Now - Live 24/7 Help
Available on Amazon

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Order our Christian Marriage Book
How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting with One Another

 

  • Learn our 2-step Process to Solving Marriage Issues
  • Use for your next Bible study
  • A Biblical Yet Refreshing Approach

 

 

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