I Can’t Take it Anymore

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It is more than common for men to read an excerpt from my marriage book or one of our blog posts and reply with statements as such:

 

“Just remember, It goes both ways.”

“Why are most of the marriage books about the men?”

“Why are most of your articles about the men?”

“The woman has responsibilities too.”

“This seems one-sided. How come the men are always the problem?”

“It takes two to tango.”

 

Though I certainly understand that women are responsible for their own actions, I am a little tired of the whining I hear from men on this issue. Let me give you a few sage reasons as to why.

 

In most cases, women are bitter as a result of a man that has failed in some form or fashion.

 

I once heard Frank Pardue say that behind every bitter woman is a man that has failed to do his job. Though I must say there are probably a few exceptions to this rule, keep in mind that the exception typically proves the rule. And, I would have to say that, from experience, I am in 99.9% agreement with his statement. The man may be a father, sibling, boyfriend, or husband. But, in most cases, I would have to agree with the generalization.

 

Women are Responders

 

No matter how hard a woman tries to throw off age-old norms, women live responsively to men. In fact, even the woman that runs ever so hard away from the influence of a man is still being influenced by . . . well . . . a man.

I would wager a million dollars that if men at large did not care for immodest clothing, women would stay away from wearing it. If men detested promiscuous behavior, generally speaking, most women would probably follow suit.

One of the greatest areas of sexual trafficking is not just over the borders of America and Mexico but on the screens of Hollywood movies and music videos. Consequently, our ladies feel the need to be less and less lady-like as there is almost always a gawking male ready to drop the black rose petals of praise in her path. As long as this occurs, women in our society will continue to feel the need to sell their honor for the morsels of attention they receive.

biblical manhood
 

This Puts the Onus on Men Not Women

 

Women are always a byproduct of the men in a society. In fact, if one reads Isaiah 3, they will see that once the mighty man is taken away, negative repercussions are soon to follow with the women and children.

I certainly understand that women have their role to play in the marriage, but ultimately, I’m a little done with the whining from men. If men want the benefits of leadership, then they will also have to embrace the responsibilities that come with the package.

Corporately, I believe that men in America should repent and take ownership of the problems in our society, especially with women. Honestly, if we would act like men, that is, Biblical men, then I believe much good would follow.

Food for thought . . . Dr. Raymond Force

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Posted in Issues Relating to Husbands

5 comments on “I Can’t Take it Anymore
  1. Travis says:

    Hello, I love the article. I have seen this played out in my relationship with my wife.

    My wife is an amazing person but the choices I have made in our marriage has caused her to change the way she thinks and how she reacts to things in our marriage.

    Honestly I see that most men have what I call the “Adam Problem”, “if it wasn’t for the woman you gave me.”

    For the last 11 years I have passed the puck on my wife saying if you weren’t treating me like this, if you weren’t doing that, and so on. But what you have to look at is what was I doing, there is a reason she is doing that. There is a reason she is yelling at you, there is a reason she is giving you the cold shoulder at night.

    Once you stop having self pity and start caring for her needs and not your own. Your needs will be met. Not saying to do these things because this will happen because to tell you the truth you won’t do it for long. But do it because you love your wife.

    Thank you for this post and I look forward to reading more.

  2. A husband who is trying says:

    Thank you Leslie. That is a fair comment.

    Dr, I’ve read a bit of your articles and have your book. You share a lot of good info which I acknowledge and appreciate. You are right men create a lot of the mess. Probably most of it. But your comments above and in many of your articles seem to give the notion that the woman is justified in her actions. All of a sudden you swing from Biblical principles to human understanding. It’s like you are encouraging and wanting women to feel good for being bitter and resentful. Jesus said 70×7, love your enemies, hold no record of wrongs, esteem other more highly, let he who is without sin…etc. And none of that obviously means it’s ok to do wrong. Women are as fallen as men and are no less guilty of sin than men but you seem to totem pole sins. This is disturbing for the casual reader who do not have the benefit of going through many of your articles. BLAME does not lead to success. We need to all work on ourselves and not use the wrongs of other whether men on men, men on women, women on men, whites on blacks, blacks on whites, etc. “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness”

    Just food for thought and discussion.

    • Thank you for your comments.

      I am not sure how you are reading or receiving the articles, but in no place do we ever say that a woman is not responsible for her behavior. Though some may filter our writings through their own particular bias or situation, we certainly never imply that. In fact, in this article we say:

      “Though I certainly understand that women are responsible for their own actions . . . ”

      In our article titled Negative Wife, we apply this statement to women:

      “The scriptures indicate that we are just as responsible for how we react to the negative behavior of others as they are for instigating problems in the first place. This is evident in I Thessalonians 5:15 as Paul says:

      Our nation is in trouble, and difficult times call for emphatic rhetoric.

      If I shout, “The sky is blue.”, that does not mean that it is never red or gray at times. It just means that in this instance it is blue.

      Likewise, if I accentuate that men are whiners that need to repent, it does not mean that women are absolved from their behavior.

      Thank you,

      Dr. Force

  3. Lesley Eaton says:

    I don’t disagree with you, Dr.Force. At the same time, a wise woman & wife is capable of leading her husband gently by example. If she desires a husband who is gentle, kind, patient, loving, & good, she cannot be disagreeable or nagging regardless of his mood or behavior. We as women cannot take full responsibility for the marriage relationship, but we can own our thoughts, feelings, & behavior, & look to Christ for our needs & fulfillment in life rather than waiting for our human husband to provide it all. If we get nothing from them, then there are problems that need addressing with prayer & guidance. That said if God is the first one you seek then the pressure’s off.

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